Poor little Paris Hilton

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She plays Christabelle, the Hottie, first seen running in slow motion along an LA beach. Naturally, all the men are ogling like mad since she is as beautiful as the sunset and, well, she’s famous.

The Nottie is her best friend June (Christine Lakin), while Nate (Joel David Moore) is the man who has always loved the Hottie and has now come across country to claim her.

Unfortunately, the Hottie has vowed to stay celibate until she can find a mate for the Nottie. Which is difficult because she has acne, bad teeth and is very plain indeed. She’s not even one of those Hollywood uglies who suddenly appear in the last reel looking wonderful. But one thing is certain: Lakin is a better actress than Hilton.

Do you want me to continue? No, I thought not. Suffice to say that Tom Putnam, the director, has his work cut out to make any of this convincing, and a puddingy screenplay from Heidi Ferrer does not help him.

Nor do a cast who, except for Lakin, must have done something better than this in their lives but probably not much.

As for Hilton, she seems to have lost even the modicum of liveliness she showed in One Night In Paris.

The Hottie & The Nottie
Cert: 12A