CDs of the week: Rihanna, Lady Gaga and 50 Cent

Rihanna complains, not entirely grammatically, that "never have I ever been a size 10 in my entire life," on Stupid in Love's attempt at Celine Dion-hood. The damp squib that is Fire Bomb suggests a future on cruise ships. Those who seek Slash on Rockstar 101 will surely seek in vain.

Yet while there's no suggestion that sweat has been broken, Rated R isn't wholly a lost cause. The gravel-voiced rapper Young Jeezy is heroically shouty on Hard; Rude Boy asks the pertinent questions "Rude boy, can you get it up?/Rude boy, is you big enough?"; the flamenco-tinged Te Amo bubbles like a Barcelona bar and Timberlake adds genuine drama to Cold Case Love.
Rihanna may be on the cusp of becoming a serious star but there's no need to take her music remotely seriously.
JOHN AIZLEWOOD

Tom Waits
Glitter and Doom Live
(Anti-)
***
Tom Waits is adored by his public, that much is obvious from the applause that greets his appearance on this live album, which bursts upon the unsuspecting ear like the soundtrack to the Second Coming. He is a sacred mule. Glitter and Doom is a suitable title because it describes just what it is that Waits purveys: cathartic songs from a fabled gutter that he has never inhabited. Tom Waits is a delightful fake. Personally, I wouldn't bother with this record — or any other live albums, except for two or three, come to that — because lots of people who were there at the time have already sucked all the enjoyment from it.
PETE CLARK

Lady Gaga
The Fame Monster
(Interscope)
***
The Fame, the debut album by New Yorker Stefani Germanotta, has not left our chart since January, demonstrating an insatiable public appetite for robotic electropop by a woman who dresses like an explosion in a circus. It will continue to dominate well into next year thanks to this repackaging featuring eight new songs. There's Telephone, an exuberant duet with Beyoncé; Alejandro, which mimics the Latin feel of Madonna's La Isla Bonita; and the bonkers marching music of Teeth. However, it's a shame that the deluxe edition isn't yet available in this country, a bumper book including puzzles, dolls and even a lock of her hair.
DAVID SMYTH

50 Cent
Before I Self Destruct
(Polydor)
**
as he has so many other business ventures to attend to, from clothing lines to video games, you wonder whether music is still a priority for American rapper 50 Cent. The fourth album from the New Yorker (which naturally comes complete with a feature-length film) was originally due out almost two years ago and the wait has done little to mellow Fiddy. When he's not threatening to kill people on the shimmering Psycho, which features a cameo from Eminem, he's bragging about his inordinate wealth over blaring synths on OK, You're Right. The only problem is: we've heard it all before.
RICK PEARSON

JAZZ
GRETCHEN PARLATO
In A Dream
(Obliq Sound)
****
This snub-nosed New York singer is the surprise hit of the London Jazz Festival, which runs until Sunday. Breathy, gently swinging and coolly feminine, Gretchen Parlato is on a winner with this delightful debut album of underused jazz standards and artful originals, some with her own lyrics. Working with cutting-edge songwriters (Robert Glasper, Alan Hampton, Antonio Almeida) and top musicians (pianist Aaron Parks, guitarist Lionel Loueke, bassist Derrick Hodge, drummer Kendrick Scott) obviously doesn't hurt but it's Gretchen's charm and playful savvy that makes this project fly.
JACK MASSARIK

WORLD
Havana Cultura
New Cuba Sound
(Brownswood)
***
Inevitably, this double CD will be described as the Buena Vista Social Club of the new millennium. It is the result of Gilles Peterson's trip to Havana to cherrypick musicians on the current Cuban music scene and record them in the legendary EGREM studios. This isn't nostalgia for Cuba's golden age but encounters with contemporary vocalists and rappers — although it's pianist Roberto Fonseca and percussionists Yaroldy Abreu and Ramses Rodriguez who hold it together musically. It's a more accurate picture of Havana today than Buena Vista — but lacking something. Soul, perhaps?
SIMON BROUGHTON