Thrills and spills on Rihanna's rollercoaster

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There were all manner of hydraulic plinths. There was a pink tank: just the place from which, you might think, to deliver an acoustic version of Noel Gallagher’s Wonderwall and you’d be right. There was a rotating couch upon which Rihanna could writhe while singing Rehab. There were floppy pink truncheons. There were a pair of giant guns lowered towards stage Spinal Tap-style, from which two comically out-of-sync acrobats could gyrate and, for those idly speculating upon the whereabouts of the members of Extreme, there was their guitarist Nuno Bettencourt. He’s now Rihanna’s band leader and confused an audience there to dance to Rude Boy and Te Amo (during which his boss toppled over) by playing long-haired rock in the manner of, um, Extreme.

There was never a dull moment, but beneath the huffing, puffing and dancers on stilts, something was missing and the sound and fury signified a lack of confidence that the music was enough, although Wait Your Turn, Stupid In Love, Take A Bow and the adorable Umbrella can hold their own among the finest pop of the 21st century. Turning up 40 minutes late was especially mean when the audience was so young and resulted in a truncated show but for all the Kylie-esque spectacle, and a succession of gusset-cramping outfits, the fiercely asexual Rihanna struggled to engage.

Nobody expected detailed discourse on her relationship with singer Chris Brown (still on probation after assaulting her last year) but occasionally bellowing "London, London, London" wasn’t enough.

A "hello" might have been nice. Still, it may have been cold, but as rollercoaster rides go, there are few more exhilarating.
Rihanna plays The 02 Arena tonight.
Info: 0844 856 0202.

Rihanna, Calvin Harris
The O2 Arena
Peninsula Square, Greenwich, SE10 0DX