City Spy: Have no fear, there is life after banking

The now-happy-but-poorer Garcia-Martinez describes the Goldman trading floor as a bizarre place (at best). He tells of an annual eating contest for first-year inmates, at which one ate 26 burgers. There was a cult-like value system in which former employees who had left were rarely, if ever, mentioned. The phrase "no longer with the firm" was used in the same tone as you would to describe a death in the family.

Academic reports written by analysts who had departed would be published, but with the authors' names redacted. "It got to the point that some papers had no authors at all, and had apparently written themselves," our man says.

Inspired by this departure, another London-based quant writes of his plans to quit for a start-up company: "We get paid in Feb, and I am quitting now... I think if I take one more bonus, the golden handcuffs will snap shut and my soul will depart my body."

Another former convict recalls what happened to the Goldman high fliers who make partner at 45: "They often started their lives all over again, starting new families (after painful divorces), and went about trying to have kids again to replace the ones whose childhoods they missed."

The buy targets who got shirty with Oracle's Larry

It's good to see that there's still fight left in Larry Ellison. The other software billionaire, as he does not like to be known, is one of those swaggering adventure types who is always up a mountain somewhere. Like Sir Richard Branson without the self-effacing modesty.

The Oracle founder stuck his $28 billion-worth into the row about the ousting of Hewlett-Packard boss Mark Hurd following sexual harassment allegations, lambasting the board in an open letter for "cowardly corporate political correctness". He stands against these things.

What does Oracle stand for? According to employees of PeopleSoft, a rival business he first tried to buy in 2003 before eventually succeeding in 2005, Oracle stands for One Raging Asshole Called Larry Ellison. They made T-shirts saying so. He probably wrote a letter about that as well.

All work, no holiday

Two related news items: InterContinental Hotels, owner of flash hotels across the world (as well as the Holiday Inn), is on the up. Business travel is back and salesmen are hitting the road.

Thomas Cook and Tui Travel, owner of budget package holiday outfit Thomson, is having a miserable time as Brits book ever-cheaper getaways at the very last minute, if at all, forcing the company to slash prices.

What does this mean? It looks safe to say that most people are working harder and holidaying less. Austerity now!

Metaphors at Merrill Lynch

Vision of the week, explaining why Merrill Lynch nearly went bust, comes from former Moody's boss Gary Witt in the New York Times, which has revealed how an off-the-books subprime mortgage business called Pyxis racked up billions in losses without anyone in head office having a clue. "It's like the parable of the blind man and the elephant: you had some people feeling the trunk and some the legs, and there was nobody putting it all together."

Dawn says no to Des

Here's Richard Desmond on the day his deal to buy Channel Five went through: "Dawn Airey will remain as the network's chief executive." Ms Airey had other ideas, and today quit to join RTL. Does she deserve her "Scary Airey" nickname? By her own account, she's "tough but with a soft centre"...