City Spy: Too many chiefs aren't good value

Sir Nigel, who was also head of the bank's remuneration committee, tells Sky TV in a documentary appearing tonight that what Varley did for Barclays was "phenomenal". He's not just any old banker. He was something close to a superhero. Statues should be erected.

The following analysis, sure to irriate Barclays, suggests otherwise.

Remuneration consultant Simon Patterson says the Barclays chief executive has been among the most overpaid in the country (you're just shocked). Patterson has done some number-crunching to work out what shareholders in large companies have enjoyed in the four years from 2006-2010 in terms of returns from dividends and share-price growth and divided it by the pay of the top man.

For every £1 paid to Graham Mackay at SABMiller, for instance, shareholders got £21,590. And for every £1 paid to the Barclays chief executive, it was Varley during this period, shareholders lost £10,787. Not as bad as RBS. But pretty bad. The typical response from corporate spinners to this sort of thing is to say that share prices at the height of the financial crisis were driven by wild things far beyond the control of any executive.

Which is an unintentionally hilarious stance. Either these people are brilliant folk worth many millions of pounds, or they are just guys at the mercy of the markets, same as anyone. They can't be both.

Try binning the bumf and cut bills instead, E.ON

Ping! A press release lands.
"E.ON and Mumsnet have joined together to gain feedback from Mumsnet users on their thoughts and interpretation of energy bills. With one in five mums not looking at their energy bills or even opening the envelope, the findings revealed that there is plenty to improve on to make bills more transparent and easier to understand." So says a patronising press release. Here's an idea, E.ON. Why not save money on pointless press releases and instead cut bills by more than the stingy 6% that was announced last month?

*Hurry, hurry to the latest and possibly the most exciting conference of the year. Yes, it's Health & Safety Reform 2012: Reducing the Burden of Red Tape. "Over 200 people are killed at work in the UK each year," the press release screams. But clearly reducing those deaths in some areas is more important than others: the cost of attending the fun is "£295 + VAT for public sector and £495 + VAT for private sector".

*A call to Vodafone's customer services to ask about a new phone deal. In response to questions about the conditions of ending the contract, the "sales" person responded: "I only work in the sales team. We only get some of the terms and conditions. I don't really know." You can't give these people your money.

Solve euro crisis, pick up pounds...

As scepticism over Greece's second bailout mounts, how do we get out of the eurozone quagmire? A call to the Policy Exchange reveals that the think-tank has received 422 entries in its £250,000 competition to find a way in which a member state can leave the single currency without causing disaster. A panel of worthies including former Bank of England rate-setter Charles Goodhart and Tony Blair's former economics adviser Derek Scott is judging the entries, and will shortlist potential candidates for the prize - put up by Next chief executive Simon Wolfson - in a month.

...but don't be a victim of Greek bull

Société Générale notes with some alarm that the latest bull market is in - wait for it - Greece, where shares have pumped up a mammoth 45% in the past few weeks. Says SocGen: "We're somewhat perplexed that among the great fanfare of rebounding equity markets and a return to 'stock-picking', few commentators seem to be extolling the fundamental attractiveness of Greek equities Perhaps because this is not actually a return to fundamental investing but simply a big fat high beta bounce entirely consistent with a market being force-fed cheap money." This surely has to end in tears.