Bookies are England's only World Cup winners

They crash out amid tears from everyone — except the betting industry, which tries hard not to cry with laughter.

The propensity of foolish gamblers to back England — a true triumph of hope over knowledge — is a World Cup certainty.

It always makes more sense to bet against England — if only as an emotional hedge against the inevitable — but optimism seems to be a powerful drug.

This time the mugs include an amusing number of senior football writers, which does raise the question of whether they understand what they are watching.

The script has been upset somewhat in South Africa, because the England team is worse than usual. Even the bookies didn't think we'd be THIS bad.

If England flop tomorrow, the World Cup bonanza the bookies were expecting is under threat.

Even England fans won't bet on Steven Gerrard to be top scorer if he's on a plane back to Liverpool.

Betting industry insiders say turnover for the rest of the tournament will be 20% lower than they were hoping if England don't beat Slovenia, because occasional punters will lose interest in the rest of the games.

This puts Ladbrokes and co in the very unusual position of actually hoping England win.

"I'm flirting with patriotism for one game only," says my man in the sheepskin jacket. "It's an odd experience."

Italians don't give a XXXX for pricy Peroni

In the UK, SABMiller markets its Peroni lager as a premium brand, the last word in sophisticated, continental boozing.

Nick Miller, the aptly named managing director of Miller Brands — the UK arm of the brewing giant, reckons Peroni is synonymous with Italian style.

That explains why SAB is able to get away with charging £4.20 a pint (no, that's not a misprint). The most recent figures show sales up 29% this year.

"Throughout the recession we've seen that consumers still want to treat themselves to affordable luxuries," he tells me.

The idea that lager — any lager — is a luxury has always seemed like an unsustainable illusion. Before long, drinkers will surely get wise and go back to the cheap stuff or defect to another brand.

I'm move convinced of this than ever, having just discovered that in Italy itself Peroni is subprime Foster's which goes for 70 cents a tin in supermarkets and which hardly seems to be for sale at all in bars.

The barman at my holiday local offered contempt when I asked him why he didn't stock Peroni.

It is "la birra di lavoratore", he said, which sounds rude and translates as "workman's beer". Good for washing down pizza, but not much else.

SAB must hope Peroni drinkers never visit Italy, otherwise this marketing wheeze is over.