Those humble folk at Tesco are really jolly rich

The theory they've concocted in their Cheshunt headquarters is that we will devour them both — absorbing yet another year of mega-profits while digesting how generous the company is to the rest of society.

I put the CSR document on one side — to return to it later, I promise — and settle down to study the annual report.

Most of it is humdrum fare until I get to page 58 and directors' remuneration. Sir Terry Leahy received £5.2 million, which seems fair enough. But alongside him, the other seven executive directors also earned amounts that make the eyes water. Tim Mason picked up £4.3 million, Richard Brasher managed to get £2.4 million, Philip Clarke £2.7 million, down to "poor" Laurie McIlwee on £1.8 million.

I don't recall seeing a boardroom of a company like Tesco that is so stuffed with multi-millionaires. There is a tendency to view investment banks as the places where the big money is to be made. But when you add in their share options, which are considerable, these supermarket directors have total packages that would do most bankers proud.

There's also a tendency to regard Tesco as something of a low-key, unfashionable place, not one that is home to sharp-suited Gordon Gekkos. That's certainly how they like to portray it out in Hertfordshire, eschewing glitzy London parties, staying close to their ordinary-people customers. Once a year, we're always told, the top brass take to the checkouts and shelves.

Another Tesco dictum is that there are only six levels between the lowliest checkout assistant and Leahy. All of which may be true but, as the annual report highlights, there are levels and there are levels. That's not to say their rewards are wrong: Tesco has a turnover of £62.5 billion and £3.1 billion profits. Much of their pay is performance-related, and last year, as usual, Tesco smashed more records. But I wonder about a board where many of them have been there for a while and are mates.

In truth, I'm just jealous. I used to think if I was reincarnated, I'd like to come back as an investment banker. But then they became pariahs and I couldn't do with having to excuse myself wherever I went. Now supermarkets are higher in the public estimation than banks, being the boss of the leading operator seems more appealing.

"Every little helps" is the Tesco slogan. It certainly does if you're fortunate enough to be a Tesco director.