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The Twilight Saga: New Moon
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A smart, prickly and rewarding view of sexual and emotional confusion
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Restaurants
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London,
Bruce Dessau's rating
Reader rating
Description: Sharp wit and observational comedy from the American comic.
Trains: Tube: Waterloo 
Phone: 0871663 2500
Website: www.southbankcentre.co.uk
Extra info: Pub, Food, Air Conditioning, Telephones
Anyone strolling past the London Eye last night might have got a shock. Perched just on the edge of Jubilee Gardens on the South Bank was a giant upside-down purple cow, all four legs in the air. Hoove-ing into view, you could say. This was not a new Damien Hirst project, but the capital’s funniest, funkiest live venue, the E4 Udderbelly, and it will be playing host to comedy, live music, cabaret and much more for the next seven weeks.
Inside the cow there were even more shocks. Maybe not for anyone who has seen Joan Rivers before, but for Rivers virgins this was a chance to see the irreverently brash New York comedienne who outraged television viewers with her four-letter-word tirade against Russell Crowe last year as a guest on ITV’s Loose Women.
The launching act for the Udderbelly festival, at 75 Rivers is still going strong. Or, as her warm-up act, comedy cabaret duo Kit and the Widow declared in their inimitable Noughties’ Noel Coward style: “The only Rivers older are the Nile and Euphrates.” The South Bank is not the only thing here to have had a facelift of course. The recent winner of America’s version of The Celebrity Apprentice happily admitted that she opts for the knife. Inner beauty will always lose to outer looks, she quipped. No man ever fell for a woman because she was good at housework.
She certainly milked laughs from her own turbulent life. When she broke up with her boyfriend who only had one leg, she was heartbroken— she really missed those handicapped parking spaces.
Listening to her stab her stiletto into fellow stars was as enjoyable as it was familiar. Few escaped her nuclear attack. From the inevitable victims — Michael Jackson, Madonna — to those who one might have to be Rivers’ vintage to know — June Allyson, Jimmy Carter’s daughter Amy — the barbs rattled along at breakneck speed. Most stars today, from Tom Cruise to Sean Penn, are so small she feels like Snow White when she meets them, Rivers said.
The weirdest aspect of the evening, apart from her facial expression — which does seem stretched almost to snapping point — was that the front of the stage was covered in cue cards. It is hard to believe that she needed them as she could surely have done much of this bitchy, breathlessly funny show in her sleep. New venue, same old schtick, but fantastic old schtick.
Details are correct at the time of publication - please check with venue before booking.
Way to go Joan, show the Brits what a Larchmont New York gal can do.
I shall be watching you on the TV in the Metro Diner in Scarsdale while I enjoy some Matsoh Ball soup, and a nice hot pastrami on seedless rye sandwich. Oy Vay!
- John Bowles(Ex Pat Englishman), White Plains, New York,USA.
Great show, full house. Won free tickets in Standard draw, thanx! She's great for 75, some old gags but loads new stuff too. She did NOT have cue cards. Was damm hot in there for her and us, even her mascara was running. So she's not very PC, get over it! She made jokes about our Brit accents and us being working class, who cares, nice to laugh for a change.
- Sue, G, Uxbridge
Chapeau to you , Joan Rivers.............You leave 'em all FAR behind !!!
- Radz, Expat!, Copenhagen , Denmark.
I love this woman! She just keeps plugging along and continues to accomplish, entertain and inspire. I find it funny when people are turned off by her schtick because when male comedians say equally offensive things about celebrities, they're just being comedians, but when Joan Rivers says the same things, she's a bitch.
Good for Joan to continue being edgy at her age. And it may not be politically correct to say so, but she's the best looking 75 year old woman I've ever seen. Go Joan!
- Shane, Indianapolis, IN USA
saw joan rivers on the celebrity apprentice show and lost all respect for her, if i had any in the first place. some of the attacks were uncalled for and downright evil - especially her hitler comparison. will never go to watch her, even if i had free tickets
- James, new york
If anyone ever contemplates facial cosmetic surgery... just take a look at this woman's fizzog
- Peter Blake, Stevenage UK
