DVDs of the week

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Actions speak louder: The first 20 minutes of There Will Be Blood is wordless

Blood thursty: captivating film

Rich: I'm Not There has a lot to uncover

Joyous: Stewart Lee knows how to make people laugh

Slapstick: The Cottage is not that gripping

Cringeworthy: Love in The Time of Cholera doesn't live up to the book

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DVD OF THE WEEK
THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Miramax Film, 15, £17.99
*****
For the first, captivatingly wordless, 20 minutes of this powerful multi-award-laden epic we watch lone 19th-century prospector Daniel Plainview (equally multi-award-laden Daniel Day-Lewis) struggle to wrench value from the muddy earth. His greed is elemental and frightening. Though its nothing compared to his lust for power, four years later, when he hits black gold – and simultaneously adopts a son. Does Daniel love this boy, who's not his own blood? Or is the lad just there for bogus family-firm authenticity, a tool to ease gullible victims from their land? As Daniel comes to blows with Eli (Paul Dano), a creepily soft-spoken hell fire preacher who wants to wash him in the blood of Jesus, issues of family, faith and loyalty volcanically erupt. What drives these two sexless monsters of men? If greed isn't good, what's worth valuing?

As visceral as it is cerebral, deep questions rumble under the exquisite skin of Paul Thomas Anderson's disturbing melodrama long before its now much-quoted ginale. All together now: 'I...drink... your...milkshake!'

Extras: A 15-minute making-of'. But for just £2 more, you can buy the extras-laden two-disc edition.
Larushka Ivan-Zadeh

I'm Not There
Paramount, 15, £19.99
****
Todd Haynes isn't known for conventional approaches (for example, a previous biography used Barbie dolls to portray Karen Carpenter) but his epic, impressionistic reading of Bob Dylan stirred up a hornet's nest among the musician's notoriously protective fan base.

If anything was ever going to capture Dylan's fleeting nature, however, this is it. As a relative newcomer to his work, Haynes is able to avoid sticking to the party line too much, playing with the myths and music that fly around Mr Zimmerman to terrific effect.

Having six actors play representations of certain landmarks in Dylan's career is a cute touch, most notably Cate Blanchett's celebrated turn, but the real skill is in the different worlds that Haynes creates around these characters. From the soft-focus 1970s in which we find Heath Ledger as the Dylan of Desire and Blood On The Tracks to the surreal Wild West of the Basement Tapes, in which Richard Gere awakes, this rich tapestry of material will reward multiple viewings.

Extras: A conversation with Haynes, making-of the soundtrack and a tribute to Heath Ledger.
Aaron Lavery

Stewart Lee: 41st Best Stand-up Ever
Real Talent, 15, £15.99
****
Naming Stewart Lee the 41st best stand-up ever in a 2007 rent-a-quote poll was perhaps an unwise move by Channel 4: this knowingly cult comic takes extreme delight in using the dubious accolade to plough one of his favourite furrows – the

Fleetingness and vacuity of fame. He might be the 41st best stand-up ever but he's still treated shoddily enough to reluctantly wind up doing an unpaid gig of insect jokes in front of a team of entomologists, and his mum still prefers Tommy Cooper. This relaxed rant lacks the powerful ire of his last show, about his authorship of Jerry Springer: The Opera and the censorship issues it raised, but rhythmically, Lee is as tantalising as ever. Who cares about polls – Lee's comic artistry is simply a joy to behold.

Extras: Lee interviewed by Johnny Vegas.
Sharon Lougher

The Cottage
20th Century Fox/Pathé Distribution, 18, £19.99
**
Paul Andrew Williams may polarise fans with this surprisingly unoriginal follow-up to his gritty award-winning debut London To Brighton. In a dramatic about-face, The Cottage starts promisingly as a comedic kidnapping caper then winds up as a psycho-slasher tale.

It's decidedly a film of two halves – the problem is that neither half works particularly well. It's not funny enough as a comedy or scary enough as a horror to satisfy fans of either genre. The story begins with bickering brothers David (Andy Serkis) and Peter (Reece Shearsmith) kidnapping gobby, head-butting gangster's brat Tracey (Jennifer Ellison) to make some quick cash with the help of her scheming step-brother Andrew (Steven O'Donnell). The plan goes terribly wrong, however, when Tracey escapes and takes Peter hostage. It's here that the story starts to fall apart as the pair, pursued by David and Andrew, follow a well-worn clichéd path to a farmhouse in the woods, that (surprise, surprise) is home to an angry, deformed fellow who likes to decorate the place with corpses.

This aspires to be a slapstick splatter flick in the tradition of Evil Dead but it's just a dead end.

Extras: Making-of, deleted scenes, out-takes, audio commentary, theatrical trailer, biographies and gallery.
Damian Tully-Pointon

Love In The Time Of Cholera
Momentum Pictures, 15, £15.99
**
Unrequited love – we've all been there. But none so bad as Florentino Ariza (Javier Bardem). Cupid strikes after he glimpses the beautiful Fermina (Giovanna Mezzogiorno). From then on, nothing else matters for this Latino Romeo. Unfortunately for him, the fickle lass goes on to marry a rich doctor (Benjamin Bratt) with some prodding from her money-grabbing father (John Leguizamo).

These days, Florentino would be slapped with several restraining orders, so much does he bleat on creepily about his crowned goddess'. But in Hollywood's version of 19th-century Colombia, he is passionate, lovelorn and, most importantly, irresistible to women.

As he ages into a doddering old lech, the film inexplicably veers into laughable sex farce. The main problem is the script, which is so cringeworthy and hampsted that you'll be forced to check your hearing in amazement, wondering whether this really is based on Nobel prize-winner Gabriel Gárcía Márquez's luminous novel or on soap opera cast-offs.

Extras: Theatrical trailer, making-of, director's commentary, deleted scenes. Ann Lee

 

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