New Moon is nothing if not an international advertisement for the hungry virtues of virginity and young people can’t get enough of it
The Twilight Saga: New Moon
Theatre
A smart, prickly and rewarding view of sexual and emotional confusion
Cock
Restaurants
Kitchen W8 is a bargain for this area, if such sophistication is what you crave
Kitchen W8
Too long and drawn out but very entertaining with excellent special effects
This is a peculiar play and does not work for me. Some of it is very funny but there are real flaws
Alex has a strong powerful voice and was faultless, she is far better now than she was on the X-Factor
London,




Dir: Robert Zemeckis.
Cast: Ray Winstone, Anthony Hopkins, John Malkovich, Robin Wright Penn, Brendan Gleeson
Description: Blessed with the strength of some 30 men, Beowulf answers the call of corrupt king Hrothgar to slay the ogre Grendel, which has been terrorizing his kingdom for months. Beowulf succeeds, ripping the beasts' claw from its socket, and fatally wounding his prey. Hrothgar, Queen Wealthow and their subjects celebrate but Grendel's mother exacts a terrible revenge by abducting the king's trusted warrior Aeschere. Beowulf and his brethren give chase, determined to rescue Aeschere from his hellish fate.
Country: US. 2007. 114mins
Looking good: Ray Winstone's warrior Beowulf talks in cockney monosyllables
Fantasy figure: Sexy sea-monster Angelina Jolie
Wisdom: Sir Anthony Hopkins as Danish king Hrothgar
Robert Zemeckis's treatment of Beowulf will be unrecognisable to most English graduates who toiled through it as students.
The 10th century poem emerges from its Hollywood make-over as a blaring, revisionist epic, featuring a buff (frequently nude) Viking protagonist and knowing references to bestiality, angst and oral sex.
The fact that Beowulf is actually a cartoon - albeit an extremely sophisticated one - only makes matters more interesting.
Writers Neil Gaiman and Roger (Pulp Fiction) Avary have invented a back-story that links the poem's three dramatic encounters while slyly deconstructing the notion of the strong, silent "hero". It's the icing on the cake that they ask us to lust after a muscle-man with no substance at all.
True, the post-modern mind-games don't always gel. It's 507 AD and a brave but mendacious warrior (voiced by Ray Winstone) shows up to help a Danish king (Sir Anthony Hopkins) tormented by a monster called Grendel. Beowulf talks in cockney monosyllables. For reasons best known to Hopkins, the monarch has a flutey Welsh brogue. Both men run afoul of Grendel's mother (Angelina Jolie) - a sexy sea-monster in fashionable high heels. Suffice to say, not all the laughs are intentional.
The 3D visuals are more assured - and a vast improvement on The Polar Express, Zemeckis's last experiment with "performance capture" animation.
Somewhat unwisely, I chose to sit at the front of the cinema. Ye pagan gods! Blood flows so hot and heavy we can all but feel the spray. Facial features, aging flesh, snowy wastes, pebbles, underwater caves - they all look magnificent.
The climactic battle between Beowulf and a dragon is as stirring as any teen nerd could wish for.
Anyone who thrilled to the sweaty Spartan romp 300 will be very happy with the action on offer in Beowulf. But that larger, more disparate, group who flocked to the ultimate "adult" fantasy, Lord Of The Rings, will also get their money's worth. I came, saw, had my retinas fried, and was conquered.
Details are correct at the time of publication - please check with venue before booking.
If you see this try and see 3D IMAX glasses version on the big screen where the whole wow factor comes through. On the dvd or small tv screen it looks more like Shrek animations. Otherwise they have rendered the 3 fights that are disjointed in the poem into one seamless narrative by the major plot twist of making Grendel's mother Morgan-le-Fay,a powerful shape shifting witch-woman seductress who begets the monster Grendel by Hrothgar and the dragon by Beowulf. The fight with the dragon at the end is spectacular. However the sacred light of the original poem has been sacrificed in translation.
- John Sharman, Rugby