Robert Zemeckis's treatment of Beowulf will be unrecognisable to most English graduates who toiled through it as students.

The 10th century poem emerges from its Hollywood make-over as a blaring, revisionist epic, featuring a buff (frequently nude) Viking protagonist and knowing references to bestiality, angst and oral sex.

The fact that Beowulf is actually a cartoon - albeit an extremely sophisticated one - only makes matters more interesting.

Writers Neil Gaiman and Roger (Pulp Fiction) Avary have invented a back-story that links the poem's three dramatic encounters while slyly deconstructing the notion of the strong, silent "hero". It's the icing on the cake that they ask us to lust after a muscle-man with no substance at all.

Gallery: Beowulf premiere

True, the post-modern mind-games don't always gel. It's 507 AD and a brave but mendacious warrior (voiced by Ray Winstone) shows up to help a Danish king (Sir Anthony Hopkins) tormented by a monster called Grendel. Beowulf talks in cockney monosyllables. For reasons best known to Hopkins, the monarch has a flutey Welsh brogue. Both men run afoul of Grendel's mother (Angelina Jolie) - a sexy sea-monster in fashionable high heels. Suffice to say, not all the laughs are intentional.

The 3D visuals are more assured - and a vast improvement on The Polar Express, Zemeckis's last experiment with "performance capture" animation.

Somewhat unwisely, I chose to sit at the front of the cinema. Ye pagan gods! Blood flows so hot and heavy we can all but feel the spray. Facial features, aging flesh, snowy wastes, pebbles, underwater caves - they all look magnificent.

The climactic battle between Beowulf and a dragon is as stirring as any teen nerd could wish for.

Anyone who thrilled to the sweaty Spartan romp 300 will be very happy with the action on offer in Beowulf. But that larger, more disparate, group who flocked to the ultimate "adult" fantasy, Lord Of The Rings, will also get their money's worth. I came, saw, had my retinas fried, and was conquered.