New Moon is nothing if not an international advertisement for the hungry virtues of virginity and young people can’t get enough of it
The Twilight Saga: New Moon
Theatre
A smart, prickly and rewarding view of sexual and emotional confusion
Cock
Restaurants
Kitchen W8 is a bargain for this area, if such sophistication is what you crave
Kitchen W8
Too long and drawn out but very entertaining with excellent special effects
This is a peculiar play and does not work for me. Some of it is very funny but there are real flaws
Alex has a strong powerful voice and was faultless, she is far better now than she was on the X-Factor
London,
Derek Malcolm's rating
Reader rating
Dir: Mark Osborne, John Stevenson.
Cast: Jack Black, Dustin Hoffman, Ian McShane, Lucy Liu, Angelina Jolie
Description: Local sensei Master Oogway anoints an overweight panda called Po as the next Dragon Warrior, who must protect the village from harm, especially the threat posed by escaped prisoner Tai Lung. Oogway's choice stuns his protege Shifu and loyal students Crane, Mantis, Monkey, Tigress and Viper, who have trained their whole lives for such an honour. They feel certain that Oogway should have chosen one of them instead and wait patiently for Po to realise he is not up to the task.
Country: US. 2008. 92mins
Bully boy: Tai Lung (Ian McShane), the fighting master disturbing the Valley of Peace
If you have difficulty imagining a great big cuddly panda performing kung fu, you have the main point of John Stevenson and Mark osborne's animation epic for Dreamworks. Sometimes even a panda has to get out of bed, stop eating and learn how to strike out against evil. The weak can sometimes inherit the earth.
The panda is Po (voiced by Jack Black), who works in a noodle shop in the beautiful Valley of Peace, and gets taught kung fu by Shifu, who looks like a wise mouse and is voiced by Dustin Hoffman.
The reason Po wants to learn martial arts is that Tai Lung (Ian McShane), a dreaded fighting master and an absolute swine, is disturbing the Valley with his threats and Po - somewhat surprisingly - has been chosen as the Dragon Warrior who will defeat him.
Helping Po out are Monkey (Jackie Chan), Tigress (Angelina Jolie), Mantis (Seth Rogen), Viper (Lucy Liu) and Crane (David Cross), and when they all get beaten up by Tai Lung, the panda has to take his turn.
The film, never more than the sliver of a story, degenerates into a series of kung fu battles that are beautifully animated in a humorous kind of way but don't sustain a lot of dramatic interest since you know perfectly well who will win in the end.
But kids will enjoy the trip and parents will note with relief that it is only about 90 minutes long and feasts even a rheumy eye with its images. Dreamworks is obviously trying here to copy the real kung fu movies from Hong Kong and does so with some skill. I hope Jackie Chan approves - even if they made a monkey out of him.
Details are correct at the time of publication - please check with venue before booking.
Tonight:
9°c
