At the rehearsal dinner for her sister’s wedding, Kym (Anne Hathaway), a havoc-wreaking
ex-junkie fresh out of rehab, proposes a toast to the bride. She starts off by talking about herself. And keeps on talking about herself, causing the guests to shift uneasily in their seats. Wedding speeches are self-scripted performances — and Kym is not giving the audience what they want. Hathaway’s loose-limbed turn, by contrast, leaves us crying out for more.

You may have seen Hathaway in The Devil Wears Prada as a beaming beauty with Gollum eyes, whose body shrinks as her star rises. In this Connecticut-set family drama, she is just as spookily skinny, but this time eating disorders are played for more than just laughs. Kym is capable of being funny, but her self-loathing is real.

Rachel Getting Married was written by first-time writer Jenny Lumet (Sidney’s daughter), yet much of the dialogue was improvised. Director Jonathan Demme, who says he wanted to make “the most beautiful home movie ever made”, didn’t rehearse scenes before filming. He and Hathaway, as much as Lumet, deserve praise for creating a pariah at once close-to-home and unique.

The film tracks Kym’s progress over the three-day event. Lies are uncovered, truths revealed, dishwashers stacked. Debra Winger is bewitching as the sisters’ mother, a woman who looks warm but gives out very little heat. Bill Irwin is even better as their dad, a man whose warmth is stifling. In perhaps the most difficult part, Rosemarie DeWitt — as the apparently smug Rachel — is also superb. Whether intentionally or not, Kym is always stealing the limelight from Rachel. DeWitt ensures Rachel is able to steal it back.

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The music deserves mention, too. A real-life team of musicians, headed by New Orleans saxophonist Donald Harrison Jr and Palestinian violinist Zafer Tawil, star as musicians hired by Rachel and her fiancé Sidney (Tunde Adebimpe) to create music throughout the weekend. The Dogme 95 crowd — who famously banned the use of “incidental music” in their films — would be proud.

The music continually, sometimes imperceptibly, shifts the mood. Kym steps into a child’s bedroom and soft music from below creates a momentary, heart-squeezing spell; after the ceremony, the music invites couples in the room to bump and grind. There’s no full stop to this music. In the same way, Rachel Getting Married, a film that could easily be viewed as a testament to the healing power of love, leaves the door ajar.