It seems beyond satire that two studios — Fox and Warner Brothers — have gone to the courts to defend their right to make money from Zack Snyder’s adaptation of the mega-cult graphic novel by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons.

Fox had reportedly called the script upon which it is based “an unintelligible piece of sh*t”. They were wrong (it’s perfectly intelligible) but that’s not the point. The shamelessness and greed of the powerful, their love of a bad fight... in the realm of Watchmen, it’s impossible to prise reality and fiction apart. Merely to watch this movie is to become part of the madness.

Essentially it involves a bunch of superhero back stories, interwoven with a murder mystery. Events begin in the Eighties, with the death of amoral, government-backed crimefighter The Comedian (Jeffrey Dean Morgan), whose one-time pals include the all-powerful, blue, nude Dr Manhattan, flabby-waisted bird-watcher Nite Owl, Aryan industrialist Ozymandias and street-scum-bashing Rorschach. The latter thinks some outside force is trying to destroy the fraternity.

Surprise, surprise, the culprit is closer to home.
If the detective work is routine, the characters are often fascinating, the effects breathtaking.

I became especially fond of Billy Crudup’s Dr Manhattan. Pretty and overworked, this man — at one point drafted in by Nixon to destroy Vietnam — towers over the landscape like Kurtz’s friendly cousin, and his disastrous love life proves touching as well as funny. Nite Owl, as played by Patrick Wilson — like Crudup, another girlish-looking actor — is also impressive. His need for a costume (he can’t get an erection in civilian clothes) is beautifully conveyed.

It’s a shame the woman both men love is so bland. In the book Silk Spectre (Marlin Akerman) thrills to the music of Devo. Here, she’s the kind of person you can imagine tapping her toes to Enya. Her tight rubber suit, meanwhile, seems designed to titillate viewers rather than provoke thought. The film’s portrayal of violence is similarly iffy; simultaneously wagging its finger and wallowing in a blaze of gory fight scenes.

There are plenty of good reasons to watch Watchmen. Ultimately, though, it’s a movie about cynicism that is full of cynical moves; nastier than the book, yet more sentimental, too.