The Last Gasp

Liars' League Cigarettes and Alcohol
Among the writers and actors of this group, the theme for this month's short reading night is "Cigarettes and Alcohol" to celebrate the joys of smoking before it's too late. Tonight, from 7pm, upstairs at The Lamb, 94 Lamb's Conduit Street, WC1. Entry costs £2, www.myspace.com/ liarsleague.

The Last Smoke
Celebrate your last puff in style on Thursday night with a fourcourse dinner, selection of the finest cigars and a glass or two of Ardbeg whisky. Tickets cost £135 and include dinner, cigars and whisky. From 7pm, The Four Seasons Hotel, Park Lane, W1, 020 7499 0888; www.fourseasons.com

The Last Gasp Masked Ball
Masks are obligatory at this decadent event that features performances from a classical quartet, live jazz, toys, games and prizes - all in the fug of a smoke-filled enclosed space. 10pm-3am, on Friday at the 18th Century Rooms, 9 Adam Street, WC2. Tickets £10 on the door, £7.50 when bought in advance. Visit www.thelasttuesdaysociety. org.

The Last Puff
Pay homage to the humble ciggie on Saturday and see an exhibition of drawings by artists and celebrities (including David Hockney and Duncan Goodhew) and the live DJ playing songs with a smoking theme. A chance to dress up as your favourite cigarette (with a "Guess the brand" competition), while a smoking-related pub quiz will help smokers mourn the loss of their freedom. Quiz starts at 8pm, at the Golden Heart, 110 Commercial Street, E1.

The Last Drag
Enjoy it dressed in drag as Chelsea Arts Club is, on Saturday night, transformed into a world dedicated to all things smoking. As well as a 12-piece salsa band, there's a Queen tribute and live DJs. Members only (see website), tickets £25 (door only), £50 with dinner, at 143 Old Church Street, SW3, www.chelseaartsclub.com.

Up In Smoke
On Saturday, just before smoky clubs become a thing of the past, a themed night at Turnmills with a Together Smoking Lounge where smoking-jacketed clubbers can dance to Eighties pop, soul and rave. Tickets £12 in advance, £15 on the door, Turnmills, 63b Clerkenwell Road, EC1, 020 7250 3409, www.together-club.co.uk.

A bugle call to mark the end of smoking freedom The Naval and Military private members' Club is opening its doors to the public for a three-course black-tie dinner on Saturday night complete with three Havana cigars. Just before midnight the mourning of freedom will start with the sound of a lone bugler summoning guests outside into the courtyard to continue smoking. The Naval and Military Club, St James's Square, SW1, tickets £75, contact 020 7287 5730 or email emma.whitehouse@naval andmilitaryclub.co.uk.