Club Talk: no more fake ids

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The fact that it was a suburban disco called Scandals above a pub in Solihull made no difference to us - in our minds this was Ibiza and Studio 54 rolled into one.

Our attempts on various bars and clubs were laughable. Fake IDs were tried; we considered turning up already drunk at the door, in the hope it would look like we'd already been to several pubs. The most common tactic was to dress up smart.

We'd rock up to the door clad in suits and ties - just a bunch of guys relaxing after a gruelling day at the office. The oldest-looking member of the team would always stand at the front of our group. They'd smoke fistfuls of cigarettes while waiting to give their squeaky teen voice a more convincing deep and throaty rasp. Nine times out of 10 we were left kicking our heels outside while the fabulous-looking girls from our school swanned in without giving us a second glance. They were bleak times.

Today's kids have it easier. Just take a look at this weekend's club offerings with great parties today and tomorrow that they can attend. The Underage Festival runs today in Victoria Park with 14- to 17-year-old indie-loving yoofs enjoying a huge bill of bands that includes Mystery Jets, Cajun Dance Party, Blood Red Shoes, Late Of The Pier and many more.

Will they have teenage doormen telling people they're too old to come in? That would be great. On Saturday, the Whirl-Y-Gig 26th birthday party at Jacks is also child-friendly, although bring ID if you look under 18 and you want a drink. Whole families have been going there for years and it's as close as you'll find to the spirit of Glastonbury in a London club.

DJ Monkey Pilot is in charge of proceedings, playing everything from heavy dub to rock, roots and banging trance. Underage clubbers are the future of dance music and it's fantastic that they're getting their own dedicated nights. They may tend to puke everywhere after one too many Bacardi Breezers, but better they do it at these nights so they can step into the adult clubbing arena fully prepared and, crucially, not wearing a suit.
clubland@thelondonlite.co.uk