Want to find love in a club?

Why restrict it to plants? "Sweetheart, you are my everything. Here, have this deceased ferret."

There are also pitfalls at every turn - remember those misguided souls who thought that blurting out innuendos on Blind Date (RIP) would somehow win a lady's heart? Or those who believed that entrusting their next emotional union to a hatchet-faced harridan called Davina on Street Mate was a sensible idea?

Perhaps the biggest dating myth of all, however, is that it's easy to find love in a nightclub. Let's face it, the slow process of making a connection with the opposite sex has many factors which aid its cause: soft lighting, a little wine, a cosy ambience that encourages intimacy.

Most relationship experts would probably agree, though, that banging techno, sweaty crowds, flashing lights and an MC shouting "from front to back feel the rush like a heart attack" are not generally conducive to meeting Mr or Mrs Right (or, at least, Right Now).

So dance nights are clearly out, and indie nights aren't much better as half the young punters have to get the last Tube home and the other half are so hammered on cider that they're unable to speak.

Where, then, can a single boy or girl about town find their other half?

The answer may lie in the singular talents of Sean Rowley, promoter of the ridiculously popular Guilty Pleasures nights.

His latest creation, I'm Not In Love, kicks off at Islington's Academy club tonight with the bold claim that it will "reinvent the singles night".

Rowley's belief is that with a little imagination and a huge injection of fun, anyone can find that special someone, even in a nightclub.

Helping him in his quest as matchmaker are Lost Vagueness's The Laundrettas, who'll be handing out stickers with the names of famous couples on them - the idea being that you have to find, say, the Brad Pitt to your Angelina Jolie.

And if things are looking bleak towards the end of the night, then head to Compliment Corner, where a nice person will be on hand to let you know just how lovely you are and, possibly, convince you that you do have a commitment to planet Earth and not to go home and stick your head in the oven if you haven't pulled.

And all this to a soundtrack of power pop - old and new.

Bring a flower (or a dead animal, if that's your thing) and a smile, because this could be the start of something beautiful.

clubland@thelondonlite.co.uk