A love affair with Kettners

Kettners. Have you been in there lately? If so, you may have spotted something odd. In among the smartly dressed ad executives, thirtysomething Sloanes and pre-theatre dinner crowd that make up Kettners' regular clientele, there is a smattering of ultra-fashionable couples. Everything about them is cool. Dressed in dirty denim, the girls wear vintage leather heels and carry the latest Bottega Veneta bag, while the boys sport scuffed 1980s Air Jordans.

They wouldn't warrant a second look in a late-night Shoreditch drinking den or hip Notting Hill house party. But set them against Kettners' red velour banquettes and watch them exchange conspiratorial whispers while the piano player launches into a second chorus of Lady in Red, and you know something is amiss. Only a couple of WI members moonlighting at a lap-dancers' convention could be more out of place.

So what's going on? Has Kettners, with its combination of inexpensive food (£15 for steak and chips), cosy interior and unpretentious staff, suddenly become cool? Not exactly. These days a bar has to have opened five minutes ago, boast live underground DJs, an architect-designed interior and stock 30 different types of mineral water before it qualifies for cool status. Kettners is, however, the number one venue of choice for fashionable folk who are having an affair.

In the past month, four acquaintances have admitted that for extra-curricular activities, there's no place like Kettners. "I always meet him there," confessed one love cheat. "It's safe because it's so un-trendy. We can relax because we'll never bump into anyone we know."

Another mistress who regularly conducts her indiscretions from the comfort of Kettners champagne bar explained, "It's not fashionable but it is a really nice place to be. You can sit there and have blinis and champagne while you wait for your date and no one bothers you. The staff are very discreet." Leading a double life can be expensive and one woman whose social itinerary usually takes in dinner at Nobu and drinks at The Sanderson or 192 has another theory on the popularity of Kettners among fashion-conscious love rats. "I think he takes me there because it's cheap. A glass of house champagne is only £6."

Kettners is a "safe" place on another count, too. If you're female, take your trendy bit-on-the-side there and he won't be tempted by fashionable eye candy, because there just isn't any. "I love it because all the women are suited up and Sloaney. There's no competition, no one else for him to look at," says one serial infidel.

It may come as a surprise to learn that a restaurant with dough balls on the menu is a hotbed of sexual intrigue, but perhaps Kettners is simply reverting to type. Opened in 1867, 100 years ago, the interconnecting upstairs rooms once housed a brothel and King Edward VII entertained his mistress Lillie Langtry there. Oscar Wilde spent many a debauched night at the venue, once famously dining with two panthers, and more recently Jeffrey Bernard held court in the restaurant. Since then, Kettners has changed hands many times and in 1979 it was bought by Peter Boizot of Pizza Express fame. Despite its rich history, the last time Kettners flirted with fashionability was in the wine-bar boom of the Eighties, when yuppies would congregate for mass Chianti sipping sessions.

It may not be as exclusive as Soho House (there's a no-reservations policy) or as swank as St Martins Lane, but if you're young, fashionably inclined and sitting in Kettners, you're probably having the time of your life.

Kettners, 29 Romilly Street, W1.

Kettners
Romilly Street, London, W1D 5HP