My backside has been a source of distress to me for my whole post-adolescent life.

I've put a lot of effort into rectifying its disproportionately large size and as a competitive City girl have battled with a string of unbearable diets.

Over the past six years I've attempted Atkins, low GI, low calorie (well, starvation really), the cabbage soup diet and even Beyoncé's maple syrup concoction.

I've tried personal trainers, yoga, Pilates, power plates and Brazilian boot camps, yet I still look dreadful in jeans.

So when I recently heard whispers around the City about a new form of "lunchtime lipo", my ears pricked up.

Rumour had it that the newest form of fat removal caused only minimal bruising and downtime - so virtually no time off work - and was taking London by storm.

After five minutes on Google I'd located Dr Ayoubi, the man credited with introducing the treatment to the UK, and had booked myself a consultation session at the London Medical and Aesthetic Clinic in Harley Street.

Dr Ayoubi, a charming and softly spoken Syrian, first explained the philosophy of his clinic, which is that any surgery is aimed at "enhancing" rather than "altering" looks. I had been hoping for more shrinkage than "enhancement".

The treatment can be applied to any part of the body though the most popular areas are post-natal tummies, saddlebags, double chins and bingo wings.

Not surprisingly, 80 per cent of Dr Ayoubi's clients are women but he noted, "We do get men. Most of them are looking to remove 'man breasts'." I don't blame them.

The treatment is not a cure for obesity. It's designed for patients with areas of "stubborn fat".

After granting that the fat around my rear was suitably stubborn, I contemplated an appointment the following week, which would make me "bikini-ready" three weeks after that.

With a holiday to Europe looming and a beach full of sun-kissed supermodels on my mind, I handed over my credit card.

On my way to the treatment, my optimism faded and I was instead questioning my own sanity. Fortunately my fears were allayed on arrival at the fantastically chic Hurlingham Clinic (and spa, incidentally) in Parsons Green.

The atmosphere was calming - it felt like I was just swinging by for a facial - and the staff couldn't have been more friendly.

As the appointment loomed, however, the luxurious surroundings weren't enough to appease my fears - in my nervous state I embarrassingly put on my surgical gown backwards and forgot my operating knickers.

A couple of Valiums later, and with two motherly nurses holding each hand, I found myself on the operating table.

After the application of local anaesthetic, it was time for the laser treatment, an odd sensation to say the least.

Having made a very small incision, the surgeon inserted a two-milimetre-wide laser under the skin, and melted the fat cells that had been causing me so much distress.

Ice packs were applied after each zap to ensure that the skin wasn't burnt.

The first version of SmartLipo would leave it at that, but this new generation treatment (SmartLipo MPX) uses a little suction to remove some of the fat there and then, so that a partial result may be seen immediately and the end result is more effective.

"I have found that patients are anything but patient," Dr Ayoubi joked. I knew that my surgeon and I were on the same wavelength.

When I gently sat up, trying not to look too carefully at my mangled body, I noticed the sponge-like texture of my thighs before I was quickly manoeuvered into the garment I was to wear for the next 10 days.

These were like a slightly tighter, nude pair of Bridget Jones style "magic knickers", with a strategically placed hole.

Although the bruising is dramatic, the procedure and recovery period has been uncomfortable rather than painful.

What's more concerning is that two weeks later my backside is still more Kerry Katona than the Carla Bruni bottom I had envisaged.

Reassuringly, Gillie Turner, the helpful managing director of the Hurlingham Clinic, reminded me that "the treatment was not a miracle cure, that I should continue to eat sensibly and take exercise and that the full effects would become apparent in "about three months' time".

Providing my thighs no longer "kiss" and I'm happily wearing my skinny jeans by October, that's enough of a miracle for me.

London Medical & Aesthetic Clinic 020 8342 1100, www.lmaclinic.com/ Prices start from £2,200.

Six 'City body' procedures

Lunchtime lip job: Dr Rita Rakus offers the Stylane Lipp procedure, injecting juverderm ultra into the lips to plump them up. No more than 60 mins for treatment, no downtime. Immediate results.

From £399, Hans Road, SW3, 020 7460 7324, www.drritarakus.com

"No-Sweat" Botox: Jabs in the armpits at Medicetics stop you sweating for six months.

Around 30 mins for treatment, no downtime. Results within a week.

£400, 37 Connaught Street, W2, 020 7402 2033, www.medicetics.com

Double-chin eraser: Dr Sebagh's Lipo Dissolve at The French Cosmetic Company gets rid of the under-chin fatty lump using injections of artichoke extract. Ten mins for treatment, no downtime. Results in a week.

£400-£500, 25 Wimpole Street, W1, 020 7637 0548

Stomach fat removal: Liposuction with Harley Medical Group involves inserting a suction tube into the body fat from which a small vacuum then draws out the fat. Overnight hospital stay with one-week recovery time.

From £2,965, Great St Thomas Apostle, EC4, 0800 085 4984, www.harleymedical.co.uk

Million-dollar smile: A new treatment from America, Smile Strips are teeth-whitening plastic strips with peroxide gel that are applied directly onto teeth. Five-minute consultation, 30 minutes for application, no downtime. Immediate results.

£45, 42 Harley Street, W1, 020 7636 5981, www.harleystreetdental studio.com

Instant knee lift: Thermage skin tightening at Wimpole Aesthetics Centre promotes collagen production to lift the skin. Twenty to 120 mins for treatment, no downtime. Results visible in two to three months.

£1,000-£3,000, 48 Wimpole Street, W1, 020 7224 2247, www.wimpoleaesthetics.co.uk