Esther Walker says...

Your parents will probably tell you that nothing will sour any romantic relationship more quickly than the lending or borrowing of money.

Cash always tops those Top Five lists of things that couples argue about and, most tellingly (to my mind at least), if you watch enough episodes of Judge Judy you'll know most cases are former lovers arguing over money lent and never repaid.

It ought to be so straightforward: you lend someone some money and then they pay you back. But it's almost never that simple with anyone - not with your lover, a friend or a colleague.

Individual attitudes towards money are wildly different and the trouble is you won't know exactly what crackpot ideas someone has about cash until you've lent them £150.

They could look like a perfectly normal person on the outside but then turn into that person (we all know one - maybe you ARE one) who simply won't pay you back - through forgetfulness or laziness or just sheer fecklessness.

That doesn't mean you should never lend someone money, it just has to be in the right circumstances.

If your girlfriend needs the money and you can afford to give it to her (not lend it, just give it away and not miss it) then you should do it.

If you just assume that your grand has gone for good, when she pays you back - which she probably will - it will be a nice surprise. Most important, the lending of the money will never become a cause of conflict between you.

You will get to feel like a benevolent benefactor rather than a grasping Shylock; your act of generosity will make her feel that she wants to pay you back, to return your kindness, rather than that she has to pay you back or you'll send someone round to break her legs.

If you're not in a position to wave, hypothetically, goodbye to that much cash, then don't do it, not in a million years.

There are other ways you can help your girlfriend out: cook dinner at yours rather than going out to a restaurant, suggest free things that you can both do or help her look for a new job.

She'll appreciate the effort as much as she'd appreciate a cheque and it means you'll never have a row that contains the sentence "...and you STILL owe me a grand!"

Nirpal Dhaliwal says...

If you have to ask someone else whether you should lend your recently laid-off girlfriend a grand, I think you should keep the money for a woman you have real feelings for.

You obviously aren't prepared to leap to her assistance in difficult times, and she's better off finding a man who'll immediately dig deep to help her out.

Money is always a challenge in a relationship, testing just how sure you feel about each other.

When you're head over heels in love, you think nothing of emptying your bank account and even taking on a second job just to keep a smile on your partner's face.

When a relationship doesn't have much mileage in it, you resent sharing a bag of chips with them.

I don't believe in lending your other half money. If you want your relationship to last, you should view your problems as shared ones, in which case just give her the money and never hassle her to get it back.

Settling debts can leave a foul odour over even the closest friendships, and it's best not to risk creating the same stink in your love life.

A grand might seem a large sum but it's a pittance to give to someone you care for when they're in trouble.

And should you break up, waiting for the money to be repaid will be an awkward point that could keep you involved with her for a long time afterwards.

You can take it as a given that if you don't lend her the money, she'll feel let down and will regard you as someone never to rely on in an emergency - the most basic requirement of a boyfriend.

You probably won't last long as a couple after that. So your question is really one of whether you want a future with her. If you do, sign her a cheque and be done with it.

If you don't, just break up. But don't hang around for a second longer having told her you're not going to help - she will resent you bitterly for it.

At the end of the day, it's your money to do with as you please. But I think it's always wise to err on the side of generosity.

In life, things tend to work out for the better when you're willing to place a bet on them.