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Celebrities love an age gap. Think Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes or Madonna, who until recently was dating Jesus Luz, 28 years her junior. I once asked Sadie Frost why she had dated younger men in the past and she told me that contrary to what we might have expected, “it wasn't a looks thing” and she was “actually quite embarrassed”. So, what is the sex-appeal of a woman twice your age, or a man who has barely stopped being a boy? Is it just celebs who like to indulge, or is it the rest of us too? I went along to St Pancras International to ask London commuters whether they have ever had sex with someone much older or younger than themselves.
Yes
Jack, 28, bouncer
Many times, both older and younger. I think the biggest age gap was seven years. Sometimes older women look younger, have nice bodies, are good- looking and are nice to chat with.
Yes
Robert, 30, painter
She was 35, but it was when I was about 18. I was just at the pub, got chatting, ended up going back to a hotel and things went from there. It was just a one-night stand, but it was good.
Yes
Taylor, 28, scientist
I've just remembered that I actually have. It was a six-year difference, and that didn't feel like much of an age gap. It wasn't a great experience, but that wasn't to do with the age.
No
Sam, 24, pr executive
Three years is the biggest age gap I've ever had. Older women scare me. They know too much. Girls much younger than me would just feel like jailbait though, so I'll go for no big age gaps until I'm older.
Yes
James, 29, painter and decorator
I must have been 21 and she was 44. It shouldn't have happened so I don't really like to talk about it. It was good, but I've had to blank out the memory.
Yes
Sally, 31, physiotherapist
I was 27 and he was 35. It didn't even occur to me that there was an age difference. We met through work and it was just a fling. I wouldn't rule out any age gap.
Yes
Dave, 28, purchaser
I was 28 and the other person was 36. We had a relationship, but it ended quite quickly. I don't think I'd go out with anyone more than about eight years older than me. That's the limit.
Yes
Raphael, 22, student
I've had sex with someone nine years older. I met her in a club and that was that. Age doesn't really matter, I've also had sex with 20-year-olds, but I prefer older.
No
Elsa, 18, student
I've had sex with someone one year older than me, but that's it. And even that I didn't plan, it just happened.
Reader views (10)
I hope no-one minds my posting in this manner but we at Love Productions, home of the BBC's The Great British Bake Off, are looking to make a series about love across age gaps, and I wondered whether anyone currently in such a relationship might be happy to get in touch with me for an informal research chat? With best wishes, Charlotte charlotte.armstrong@loveproductions.co.uk 020 7067 4873
- Charlotte Armstrong, London, UK, 01/09/2011 12:06
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My boyfriend is 28 years older than me - I'm 33 and he's 61. We've been together for 18 months now and its great.
We have our ups and down, but then every relationship has good points and bad points and these will always vary depending on the individuals.
I know we probably won't have as much time together as other couples - but then life doesn't have any guarantees anyway so the important thing is to make the most of the time we will have and to aim for happiness.
And he makes me happy, so happy, life with him is miles ahead of any other relationship I've been in - not because or despite the age difference, but just because we love so deeply and so well.
- Alison, Sydney, Australia, 24/09/2009 13:28
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I never ask them their age; I am just grateful.
- Mickinlondon, london, 24/09/2009 12:28
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Unfortunately, it almost always levels out in the end, because that's the nature of the Human being.
- Baz, London UK, 24/09/2009 12:28
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People age different, so why not.
- Andrew, hounslow, 24/09/2009 12:28
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My first experience was with a married woman in her mid-thirties. She taught me a lot! I was a toy boy to another woman for a few years after that. Sex with older women is generally much better IMO... teenage girls may look nice but you can't beat life-experience, personality and maturity for anything long-term.
- Alan, Epsom, UK, 24/09/2009 12:28
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Angie, CA, great letter. Thanks, you made my day. Just met someone much younger than me. I'm 40, he's 26. Not sure where it's going but you gave me hope...
- Laure, Paris, France, 24/09/2009 12:28
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I met a man years ago whom I thought would turn out to be just a 'fling'. Much to my surprise, we are still together after six years and now in love more than ever. He is 43 and I am 56. It helps that i am a young kind of 56 and he is a mature 42, but we don't let age get in our way....love knows no numbers...we get along well and have worked through a lot of problems in the first few years of our relationship, including his drinking due to his brothers' untimely death due to a car accident and my cocaine use...we grew stronger and realized we did love each other and now I am in love at 56 with him and there is a chance for everyone if there is love for me at such an age....love can happen at any age to anyone...so, don't ever give up -- you never know when and with whom you will fall in love with. Love is all there is that MATTERS truly in life. Money comes and goes...but, love is all.
- Angie, San Anselmo, CA, 24/09/2009 12:28
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I have had a couple of long relationships with older woman. They were 20 years older than me. It was great for a time but the age difference does creep in as we were in very different times of our lifes.10 years difference is fine but anything more could be a struggle
- Tom, London, 24/09/2009 12:28
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For the past few weeks, I've been spending my time with a 22-year-old woman. I am 42. I am surprised but we seem to be very fond of each other. I see a lot of myself in her and we connect. Do I think it will last? Probably not. But it's an adventure that for the time being both of us are enjoying.
- Inshock, LONDON, 24/09/2009 12:28
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