Question: I always promise more than i deliver. how can I get sex without lying?

Esther says...

Yeah, men like you ought to be shot. You are every girl's nightmare - the man who acts all keen and talks about mini-breaks and family lunches but then vanishes after a month. (Or five shags, whichever happens soonest.)

You obviously find lying easy and that it works. I suppose you do it because you think that if you told the truth, they wouldn't sleep with you or, worse, that they'd be angry.

But telling a woman the truth - that you find her devastatingly attractive but that you're not up for a relationship - is not what makes women angry. What makes women angry is being lied to.

We try so hard to believe that new men we meet aren't deceitful scumbags. We tell ourselves, over and over again, that we mustn't be bitter, that all men aren't the same.

So when it turns out that we've been lied to yet again, it makes us mad as hell.

The gross injustice of it all and the feeling that we've been played for a mug sends us into a suit-cutting frenzy. So just don't do it. Please.

Anyway, you're wrong to think that you need to promise a girl a forever of cosy Sunday mornings before she'll sleep with you.

She either fancies you or she doesn't, and a lot of girls see that kind of "I'm not looking for a relationship" thing as an irresistible challenge, which is their problem.

The biggest shagger I know, who goes through beautiful girls in London and the Home Counties like a hot knife through butter (with all the crotches of his suits still intact), never tells lies.

"I always say that I'm dating other girls and that I'm not really looking for a relationship," he says. "Girls lead themselves on. And they're incredibly competitive."

So there we have it. But be aware that this approach only tends to work on women under 25.

Nirpal says...

Never overstate your feelings, if only to avoid that horrible clingy post-coital moment when she cuddles up, making big Bambi eyes, expecting you to spend the morning baking bread together while you'd rather she just called a cab.

Nothing makes men recoil more than realising they've over-committed. Yet men spend months, years, even lifetimes, with women they didn't intend having more than the odd night with.

Men are often just too dumb to get laid without first fooling her and themselves into believing they're really into her.

Having no faith in their innate appeal, they instead make themselves "emotionally available" and get needlessly entangled.

Like showing off your money or your six-pack, exaggerating your affection is for chumps.

The truth is, women love sex - way more than any man does - and don't need much persuading to do it.

With mere lighthearted nonchalance, you can have the sex life of a rock-star without breaking a sweat.

When you're fun and easygoing, women are fun and easy too. Indeed, making an effort turns them off.

Treat women as intelligent individuals who can make up their own minds without persuasion, and they'll jump you like you're the last man alive.

And once you've hit that magical tipping point and acquired some notoriety as a womaniser, things snowball beyond control. Women will take you home just to see what the fuss is about.

Your empty promises reveal your lack of confidence, which has drawn you into the clutches of needy women.

Be bold enough to be straight and you'll meet independent females who don't need buttering up before getting into bed.