Where do you live?
On the wrong side of Ladbroke Grove. Or the right side, depending on who you want to bump into.

What was the last gig you saw in London?
Grizzly Bear at the Barbican. They were brilliant.

What advice would you give a tourist?
Avoid Leicester Square at all costs and hightail instead to Kensal Green Cemetery and take a tour of the catacombs, followed by a gentle walk to Portobello Road. The Tate Britain Rex Whistler Restaurant is gorgeous for lunch on a rainy day.

What's the best meal you've had in London?
I really love The River Café, and the honesty and simplicity of their food. For the same reason, I had an unforgettable lunch at Petersham Nurseries
last year on my birthday. Panna cotta to die for.

Which London shops do you rely on?
For cheese, La Fromagerie on Moxon Street in Marylebone. For flowers, Scarlet & Violet on Chamberlayne Road, NW10. For knickers, Rigby & Peller in Knightsbridge. For scents and candles,
Les Senteurs on Elizabeth Street, SW1.

What's your earliest London memory?
I remember sitting on the top deck of the bus, going over the river home to Wandsworth from school. I always feel nostalgic when I see the lights darting over Albert Bridge in the winter.

What would be on your tombstone?
Sophie Dahl. WRITER.

What are you most afraid of?
I don't like clowns or pigeons.

What are your guilty pleasures?
Smoking. The X Factor. Chocolate.

What would you do as Mayor for the day?
Abolish the congestion charge and do away with petty bureaucracy.

What's your life philosophy?
If you fall down, get straight back up again.

What animal would you most like to be?
A bird, but not a pigeon or a seagull. Maybe a robin.

What was the last album you downloaded?
Dizzee Rascal's Tongue N Cheek.

What would you save from a fire?
My husband. Letters.

What makes you laugh?
Family Guy. My sister.

What makes you cry?
Cruelty. Not being heard.

What are you up to at the moment?
Writing my new book, and my cookery show is about to air, which is terrifying but exciting.

Which is your favourite shopping street in London?
Marylebone High Street.

Who are your heroes?
Pippi Longstocking, Joanna Lumley, MIA.

What do you most like wearing?
A linen nightshirt with a jumper over the top.

What's the most romantic place in London?
My kitchen. Failing that, The Portobello Hotel.

Which is your favourite London pub or club?
I never really go out. Ask someone young and hip.

What are your favourite London discoveries?
Strand on the Green in Chiswick, Grime music, and What Katie Did lingerie shop in Portobello Green.

Have you ever stolen anything?
I don't think so. Maybe the odd pair of tights from a shoot when I was a model.

Where did you last go on holiday?
Martha's Vineyard last summer. I went with my husband and family, stayed with my granny and ate crab claws on the beach as the sun went down.

The Delicious Miss Dahl is on BBC Two on
23 March at 8.30pm