Lady of the manners

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Well, yes, quite. What on earth does one do to top all that? I don't think a shonky Italian restaurant with a singing waiter and a solitaire shoved in her tiramisu is going to cut it. Perhaps you could train your Von Trapp-style family to sing a proposal to her after bathtime one evening? No, she'll probably feel that's far too derivative and bourgeois. We need to blindside her. A gorilla-gram? I've always wondered what one of those would be like; no doubt Angelina doesn't fritter away her beautiful thoughts on such fripperies. What about tweeting her? It worked for Ashton and Demi... Oh, no, hang on. Skywriting? She likes flying, but it will spoil the surprise if you ask her to fly the plane. Damn, she's hard work. Are you really sure about this? But wait, we're being idiots! The answer's staring us in the face: you don't have to do anything. This is Angelina Jolie we're talking about. She's not going to sit around waiting for a man to propose. She's going to do it herself. And when she does, you'd better be ready, or she'll kick your butt from here to eternity. Mazel tov!

*Brad Pitt's quandary as imagined by ES