For childibores and egosurfers, it's a language all of its own

That's a solo meal for a lonely bloke, in case you're behind the zeitgeist. Because a new crowd of buzzwords have stormed into Londoners' lexicon, all thanks to the latest loquacious hobby: "newlogism" - splicing together two unrelated words to make up a new term that's suddenly become crucial for a city dweller's vocabulary.

So wordies grasping for a term to denote those selfish types who walk around with their headphones out and the music on full blast came up with "sodcasting". Those practising the delicate art of ducking and diving while using a brolly
on the capital's busy streets are now practising "umbretiquette".

Today's street-strollers know to watch out for psycho-lists - those mad bikers ready to run over pedestrians with the temerity to cross the road.

Meanwhile, the green crew zealously steer clear of generica, the branches of McDonald's, Subway and their many similarly ubiquitous cousins which look the same the world over.

Perhaps the best source of newlogisms can be found in the office. There, executives carefully try to avoid the "seagull manager" - who flies in, squawks orders, craps everywhere, then leaves for somewhere nicer.

Watch out, too, for the "email courier" who is the time-waster who trots over to your desk across the office just to ask if you've seen their latest missive in your inbox. When not bothering you, they're probably "egosurfing": checking themselves out on Google.

Still, even egosurfers are better than "digital nomads", that smug breed of entrepreneur who roams the capital's coffee shops with iPad in one hand and laptop in the other, and no fixed office abode.

The soaring popularity of slang sites such as UrbanDictionary.com means the latest newlogisms spread faster than red wine on a white carpet, according to Dan Clayton, English language researcher on University College London's Survey of English Usage. "We've seen a big upsurge in interest in linguistic blends and compounds," he says. "They circulate very quickly via social networking, and pop up all the time to denote the latest trends and events.

Words such as 'range anxiety' - when electric-car owners worry about not making it to the next charging station - and other new expressions set a template for others. "Couch potato" developed to "mouse potato", "activism" became "hacktivism".

"The word pool is growing more rapidly now than ever before, thanks partly to the rise of technology. But new words have a shorter shelf life - about 80 per cent of new slang doesn't last more than a year."

Other top new terms include "childibores" - parents who won't stop going on about little Tabitha and Timothy - and divorcees arguing over "custdoggy" - who gets to keep the pet.

"Ecotarians" eat low-carbon-mile food, x-sessives are people who Won't. Stop. Sending. Xs. So their missives read 'hello x how are you x I cant wait 2 c u x'.

The trend is being absorbed by some of the capital's savviest entrepreneurs. Soula Zavacopoulos, head designer of greeting card publisher The London Studio, says she spends hours keeping up to date with the latest linguistic trends. "It's the best way to keep my cards on trend," she says. "As soon as I hear new slang crop up, I test it out and start using it on designs.

"The Only Way is Essex has been a big source of new lingo. The girls use the word "jel" a lot, meaning jealous, and reem, meaning gorgeous, is used by one of the male cast members absolutely loads, and again is copied in London vocab."

Zavacopoulos's other favourites include "carb coma" - that tired feeling you get mid-afternoon when you've had a big lunch - "edgehog", the bloke who hogs the aisle seat on the bus, and "iPad potato", anyone who spends loads of time glued to an iPad. Quite possibly during a manellone.

Lucy Tobin's Pimp Your Vocab (Crimson, £7.99) is available now.