Peaches teaches - Q&A

A. The part of your message where you wrote I did not let him put me out' was so sad; the thought of you standing firm in the doorway as he bruised your arms trying to force you out of the door of your home is not a good one. The formality of the words you chose to describe the events seems curiously unemotional. You need to face the fact that what he did was completely wrong. If this was a one-off,
then forgiveness is acceptable as long as he explains himself and vows never to act so recklessly again. If he does hurt you again – physically or emotionally – then it's time to leave. From your message, you seem like a strong woman, but your husband's stony silence and anger do not bode well. Nor does the fact that he's more interested in golf than you. If you love him enough to persevere, try couples counselling – it does sometimes help to have a qualified mediator in the room.

Q. My parents recently separated and my dad has got a new girlfriend. She is completely awful and I can't bear her. I'm
not just being a spoilt brat – I'd love both my parents to find wonderful people – but this woman is unpleasant. She's rude to me and my sister, she talks about herself constantly and makes demands on my dad at a time when he's still emotionally vulnerable. I don't want to upset him or damage our relationship so how do I tell him what I think and encourage him to see less of her? He's scared of being alone

A. The worst thing in the world is when your parents get new partners and, if the partner is completely wrong for them, said parent won't accept the truth because they think it's just your jealousy. One of my best friend's parents recently got divorced and her new stepfather is Satan incarnate. He's about 5ft 1in, resembles Danny DeVito on a crack binge, dresses like the Eighties never ended, slicks his thinning hair to his skull with a rock-hard gel that smells like cheese and leaves issues of
Nuts and Zoo lying around everywhere. He is the biggest misogynist: at one point, she sobbed to me down the phone, he told her mother to get him dinner because a man's place is at work and a woman's is in the kitchen. It sounds like your new mummy doesn't quite fit the bill either, so I'm not going to waste time telling you to try to get along, because in my experience that doesn't work. Tell her how you feel, be as kind as you possibly can about it, and try to work your relationship out. You don't have to like each other but you can at least both be civil. Then explain to your father that you've had a talk with her. If things get worse, try to get him to face the fact that she isn't right for him, no matter how harsh that sounds, because the last thing he needs is another failed marriage.

Q. I have been in my job for nearly three years, but don't feel that I am appreciated by my boss; I haven't been promoted and am getting tired of being ignored. I have started Italian classes and have a romantic dream of moving to Italy for a year. Is that a crazy idea? Should I just stick at my job, work hard and hope for the best?

A. Don't sit looking at grey walls when you could be eating penne arrabbiata, drinking wine and looking out over the piazza. Your job is boring, your boss doesn't care, and let's be honest, London in the winter is pretty depressing. Go to Italy, work and study, ride on handsome Italian men's scooters and live la dolce vita. Office cubicles suck the soul; the only true
way to live life is to adventure.

Can Peaches help? E-mail Peaches your problem on: askpeaches@standard.co.uk