It is somewhat disconcerting when the car you drive – in my case a Vauxhall Corsa – becomes the bashed-about central character in a piece of theatre.

Yet according to Christian von Richthofen, who co-conceived this deeply peculiar event and performs in it with Rolf Clausen, the Corsa is “bad in an accident, great in a concert” and thus ripe to be turned into an entire symphony orchestra.

Togged up in white tie like members of the Vienna Philharmonic, von Richthofen and Clausen proceed to use the parts of the car as all manner of percussion instruments, applying the contents of a toolbox when a different sound is required.

The poor Corsa, salvaged from a scrap yard but polished up beautifully, starts off draped in white like a sacrificial victim in Roman times and ends up smashed to smithereens.

This admittedly energetic twosome promise music ranging from Bach to Motörhead, with a bit of Benny Goodman thrown in too, but to me it simply sounded like a cacophony of banging.

Disconcertingly, at one point Rolf looks as though he’s humping the car door.

If the songs are bad, the between-songs banter is several junctions beyond excruciating. One fears that von Richthofen and Clausen weren’t the cool kids at school; their over-eager manner and the fact that they aren’t speaking their mother tongue combine so infelicitously that the next round of banging comes as a merciful relief.

A car crash of an evening, in too many ways.

Until 4 May (020 8237 1111, www.riversidestudios.co.uk)