Virgin on the ridiculous

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How long is it since losing your virginity infected your every thought? Most of you probably have to go back to your teens. But what if you never managed to scratch the itch back then? What if you're a 40-year-old male sexual nonstarter aching to get going but with no idea where to begin?

A Dutch life-coaching company believes it has the answer. For more than a year, Utrecht-based Aquarion has been running the most thorough sex course imaginable: one that culminates in coitus between the student and teacher.

It's a practical programme that helps middle-aged virgin men get over their intimacy phobia. And according to Marion van der Stad, 56, Aquarion's owner, there is no shortage of potential students.

'Throughout my professional life, I have come across grown men who are virgins and have no idea how to be intimate with women,' she says. 'You'd be surprised how huge the need for services like this is.'

Paying for it
A trip to Amsterdam's red light district might allay that shock. Men often resort to paying for sex. And that's what students on this course are doing. But while van der Stad accepts this, she is adamant that what she offers is in no way a prostitution service. For a start, she says, a man looking to buy just sex would not be prepared to make the investment in terms of both time and money she demands of her clients.

The average course lasts at least a year, costs up to £2,700 and breaks down into three distinct phases. The first lasts six weeks and involves nothing more than mental and emotional coaching. Things heat up a little during phase two. This usually takes six months (but will last as long as necessary) and sees the student move on to the intimacy coach.

It is with her - a trained tantra specialist - that the practical learning starts. The time is spent in frequent three-hour sessions learning all things pre-coital. There will be nakedness, looking, kissing and even touching. But still no sex.

Phase 3: sex
Full physical relations happen in phase three, when the student moves on to an 'initiator' - the coach who concludes the course in a series of meetings, capped at a maximum of five - to whom he will finally lose his virginity.

Aquarion works with three 'initiators' - one woman in her 30s and two in their 50s. None of them, according to van der Stad, bears any resemblance to a prostitute.

'They are all professional women who work in the social sector,' she says. 'They do this as a side job, and sure, they get paid for it. But they're not doing it for the money.

'They're doing it because they are compassionate and want to help these men.'

So have they helped? 'It's too soon to say what the success rate is,' says van der Stad. 'It's only been running about 18 months, and it generally takes about that long to finish.

'But the first man to complete it is dating. And one of the students found a girlfriend while he was in the intimacy phase.'

However, for people going on this course, it is not only about finding. Losing is just as important. And, as far as the students' virginity is concerned, that part is guaranteed.

 

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