Brown tried to hide his glee as the well-off were hit. He failed

"I have not spend 10 years saying We are not raising the top rate of tax' in order to do so now," was Tony's slap-down to persistent Brownite mega-taxers.

His forlorn ghost shuddered as Mr Brown (salary £188,994) cheerfully lashed the burden of the nation's scariest ever borrowing splurge onto the shoulders of what Labour likes to call "the rich"— as in Croesus, John Paul Getty and David Beckham, not anyone we know.

Of course the really rich aren't so daft as to be in the PAYE salariat, so it's the well-paid, upper-end professionals who felt the chill descend their spine today. Mr Brown tried to look as if he was not in his heart of hearts, pleased to be clobbering the well-paid. He didn't succeed.

Has Mr Darling, aka Mogadon Man and Darling the Drone, got better at public speaking. Not exactly, but he is now dull and proud of it. His white hair is shorn these days to monk-like brutality.

The pre-Budget report – never an exercise in joyous prose – was read out with all the effervescence of a call centre worker waiting for a tea break. "Sorry, you are held in a queue, but the causes of instability are global. Please stay on the line."

To the meat of it then. How much did the Government dare to borrow before the shaky temple of prosperity cracks and splits asunder? A hell of a lot, as Mr Darling hiked borrowing and plundered tax allowances for "high earners" in favour of his beloved "modest incomes".

On ploughed and lulled Mr Darling in his way. We knew it was an exciting day – in a sickly kind of way – but he is a natural opiate.

Small children drowsed on sofas. Dogs fell asleep by fires. Just when Westminster's Sandman had done his best: Kapow! we were hit with such a barrage of nasty figures — from negative growth to disappearing tax allowances. The Tory benches reeled, uncertain which cattle-like noise was the correctly concerned response.

But in his way, the Chancellor is coming into his own. "As I have decided," he said several times, "on a fiscal loosening..." Yer what? If the vaunted "fiscal stimulus" sounds like something dubious from the ads in a men's magazine, a "fiscal loosening" is surely something you should share only with your doctor.

Never mind. By 2015 it will all be all right again — only another seven years, just like the bible: "And we will be borrowing only to invest."

This is an Alistair Darling joke. Yes, really (he isn't slated to replace Jonathan Ross any time soon). Mr Brown used to talk of borrowing to invest before he smashed up the piggy bank.

The prospect of an elderly, even whiter haired Mr Darling still in Number 11 then, with the entire country happily ensconced on "modest" incomes floated to mind. A yelp of pain hailed from the benches opposite.

The Government, he added by way of reassurance, is investing £15 million in debt advice.

Somehow, I think we'll need it.