Choose a care home by stopping off for dinner - and stay the night if you can

If possible, they should also spend a night at the property to find out whether it is well run.

The suggestions emerged in a guide published at a time of growing concern about standards in care homes.

With means tests forcing many to sell their homes to meet the bills, families are often rushed into choosing a home for an elderly relative.

This does not allow time to make an informed decision, despite stories of abuse and malnutrition in some homes and complications over costs.

The guide, published by the charity Counsel and Care, says having a meal would allow an elderly person and their family to see the best, or worst, of the home.

"For most people, meals are very important - the food, the company and the atmosphere." it adds.

"The food should be sufficient, varied, appealing, wholesome and nutritious.There should be snacks and drinks available to you whenever possible."

Those selecting a home are advised: "You should be offered the opportunity to visit the home, stay for a meal, see your room, or even stay for a night before you make the decision to move in."

It also suggested families choosing a home should check the privacy afforded to residents, whether they are allowed to personalise their rooms with pictures and ornaments, the way communal rooms are kept and the quality of laundry service.

The boss of the care home should be clear over the cost of a place and what services are provided.

The guide goes on to say that residents or their families must be prepared to complain about poor standards or abuse.

Counsel and Care chief Stephen Burke said: "While most care homes are of a good standard, callers to our advice service are still concerned that many older people are not receiving the standard of care they are entitled to."

The guide's author, consultant John Burton, said: "If residents, their families and friends are clear about what they have a right to expect from their care home, they'll feel more confident about asking for it.

"This is how care homes improve and maintain high standards."

The Commission for Social Care Inspection has issued warnings over the abuse of methods of restraint, which include the elderly being tied down, locked in rooms or strapped in their beds.

Other reports have told of malnutrition due to poor food and sloppy distribution of drugs.

The Daily Mail's Dignity for the Elderly campaign has highlighted distress over the costs of homes and the means test system.

Home operators have been accused of charging those who pay for their own homes more to compensate for the way social workers use their bulk-buying power to enforce lower prices for state-subsidised residents.

"Top-up" fees are also common. These are charged to those whose bills are paid by the state but where the state payment does not meet the level of fees due to the home.

The commission is to introduce a star-rating system to help families select care homes this year.