Dressing up, your Halloween nightmare

The West Village Halloween costume parade attracts two million people to what its website calls "the single greatest opportunity for all New Yorkers to exhibit their creativity in an event that is one-of-a-kind".

As a West Village resident, I find the parade not so much uniquely creative as a unique nightmare - I can't leave my block all evening because all the surrounding streets are cordoned off and a policeman stands at every corner.

Then there's the costume problem. I don't know why Americans love to dress up (sexual repression, perhaps?) but they do. In a big way.

Last year, a Texan heiress famous for her Halloween parties gave a soirée themed The Garden of Earthly Delights after Hieronymus Bosch's painting. She appeared in a nude skintight bodysuit, with a live python draped around her neck. This year's theme is a tad simpler: she's throwing a Surrealist Ball. Wrap your mind around that.

"Are you going?" we've been asking each other. Yes, because the spectacle promises too much to miss. One year I remember seeing a couple dancing at her house; the man was dressed as a doctor, the woman as a patient, wrapped like a mummy in bandages. It must have taken all day to get ready.

Of course, the people who enjoy Halloween the most are children, who ring door bells like street urchins and practise consumerism, holding out sacks to collect year-long supplies of sweets. Last year I mucked it up for our twin sons; one boy went to school dressed as a cow, his brother as a cowboy. I had realised but dismissed the obvious difference in hierarchy, thinking they looked so sweet as a pair. Their peers were not so forgiving.

No sooner had they got to class than the cow felt downtrodden. There were demands to swap, along with tears and mayhem. This year we've let them choose for themselves. One child is dressing up as an astronaut; the other (last year's cow) is going as the Tin Man from The Wizard of Oz.

I asked him why he'd chosen the Tin Man. Because, he said proudly, "the Tin Man is so strong". Touché.