Just what is the point of this tainted Olympics?

So far, I'm afraid I haven't come up with much.

I have been impressed by the way that all outside events such as rowing and cycling appear to take place in a toxic fog. The atmosphere is evidently so polluted you can hardly see 100 yards. Strangely, the commentators rarely seem to mention this glaring fact. Yet viewers all round the world must have been coming to some fairly harsh conclusions about the damage China is inflicting on the environment.

Then, of course, there is the fact that from the comfort of home you can lingeringly inspect the bodies of lots of fit young people with not many clothes on. I always assumed this to be the main attraction of watching sport for most viewers.

Physiques do vary a lot, don't they? This swimmer Michael Phelps has such a peculiar anatomy. he's been compared to a dolphin but I'd say it's more phocine: he reminds me of nothing so much as an elephant seal, including something about the head as well as the flowing musculature. I'd love to see him leap right out of the water to catch a fish but I expect that's too much to ask.

But joyous voyeurism seems not quite enough to put against the great political wrong that is the Chinese Olympics.

So it was with considerable emotion that I saw that the Guardian women's editor was claiming earlier this week to have found a really convincing reason why we should all enjoy and admire these Olympics. her job is one of those splendid old-fashioned callings that I greatly revere, like Black Rod, the Archbishop of Canterbury, and the Keeper of the Ravens at the Tower of London, which have no real function in the modern world but which remain a colourful curiosity that only a churl would want actually abolished. So I listened up.

The reason "we should bask in the next two weeks", she said, is that, for once, women's events are allotted almost as much coverage as men's. It's early days yet to say that these Olympics will completely change the way that we see women, she conceded, but she seemed hopeful.

For one delirious moment, I was quite persuaded. Then it occurred to me that in reality what this equal coverage cruelly demonstrates, over and again, is that women are no physical match for men whatsoever. Rowing, running, cycling, swimming - for exactly the same event, the winning times are way different. Always. The sole lesson you can possibly-take from this equal coverage is that women are the weaker sex.

Now, we don't want that. Such a disappointment, So what is there to be said for the Chinese Olympics? I don't know. Perhaps only that they are not here. Yet.