Madeleine: Kate and Gerry fear 'cloud of suspicion' will never leave them

Kate McCann is also haunted by a nightmare that police will never solve the mystery of her daughter's disappearance, friends say.

They said Mrs McCann and her husband Gerry have been driven to despair by setbacks and delays in the Portuguese investigation.

Five months ago they refused to even contemplate that Madeleine might be dead.

Scroll down for more...

Now they have admitted that not only have they faced that grim possibility, but realise it would be better than spending their lives without ever knowing the truth.

A source close to the couple said: "The McCanns are realistic enough to realise that Madeleine might be dead.

"They are obviously praying that this isn't the case. But if it is, they want to know what happened so they can resolve it in their own minds."

The couple fear that if the case remains unsolved they will never find four-year-old Madeleine, never be able to mourn properly and will always live under a "cloud of suspicion" that they were involved in her disappearance from the Algarve resort of Praia da Luz.

They would also face the anguish of having to explain her absence to their twins Sean and Amelie as the twoyearolds grow up.

Reports that forensic scientists have failed to find any conclusive evidence of what happened have deepened their despair.

A friend said: "Gerry and Kate's biggest fear is that Madeleine will never be found.

"They could go on for ever without knowing what happened and that's unbearable.

"They also fear they will have to live under a cloud of suspicion for years, even then some people will still think they are responsible.

Scroll down for more...

"It is a nightmare scenario for Gerry and Kate, they want resolution and want it quickly."

Mrs McCann was said to be finding the wait for information particularly hard.

Her family say they are keeping her health "under surveillance" amid reports that she has lost so much weight she had to buy new clothes.

Friends said the couple, both 39, have struggled to sleep but denied Mrs McCann was ill.

Mrs McCann, a GP, has admitted that her fears over Madeleine made it impossible for her to eat properly, even though worried relatives prepared her favourite meals to encourage her.

Mr McCann's sister Philomena told the Portuguese magazine 24 Horas: "We are keeping a close eye on her".

She added: "Kate says she can feel her anguish in her stomach. She says her heart seems to squeeze and her stomach shrinks."

Mrs McCann's mother Susan Healy, 61, said: "Like any mother I worry but I know Kate is responsible and if she was sick she would tell me."

The McCanns told last week how they were struggling to get "a semblance of normality" into their lives, and this weekend they went away to stay with friends.

Scroll down for more...

Mr McCann has also said they realise they could be considered arguidos, or official suspects, for some time to come.

Writing on his internet blog, he said: "Kate and I will be going through the judicial process in Portugal to try and clear our name as quickly as possible.

"Obviously it is encouraging that the prosecutor has stated that all lines of inquiry are open.

"It is likely that we will be 'arguidos' for some time since this status remains until charges are brought or up to eight months if no charges are made."

The couple were said to have reacted with caution to news that a woman had reported seeing a girl who appeared to have Madeleine's distinctive eye defect in a Moroccan village called Fnidk.

The couple's spokesman Clarence Mitchell said they were not getting their hopes up as the village is in a Berber area, where children often have blond hair and fair colouring.

The report came from a 30-year-old woman who lives in Spain but was visiting her native Morocco.

She told police the girl was with a woman in her 50s. The witness tried to share their taxi to another village but the woman refused.

• A former South African policeman, dubbed the Locator after reportedly using a secret scientific technique to find murder victims, will today ask police to dig up a section of beach in Praia da Luz where he believes Madeleine may be buried.

Daniel Krugel claims he can follow a person's DNA trail using a piece of their hair and global positioning satellites.