Only Sarah can unlock the real Gordon

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I have known Sarah Brown professionally for a decade. I knew her when she was in PR, an iffy business, and she has since transformed herself into a self-contained, serious person - a real leader in her own right. She is bright, serious and not, thank God, a foolish fashionista like Cherie Blair. She has endured the death of a baby daughter, and now cares for a younger son born with a serious medical condition. I was at her charity lunch for the French president's wife, Carla Bruni, in March. While the beautiful Bruni captivated some guests, many more were stirred by our PM's dignified wife who spoke compellingly and was gracious.

Only she can help turn public opinion around. For Gordon needs to be his real self - politically (for he is, at heart, a social democrat) - and personally. In the public arena, his character seems to collapse. What is left is a pusillanimous leader who believes (mistakenly) that he will appear strong by standing shoulder to shoulder with George Bush or pushing through authoritarian laws such as the 42-days detention period.

Yet meet him when he is not self-consciously being the PM and you find he is clever, knowledgeable, skilled, persuasive and morally charged.

Irresistibly charming, too. I have chatted to him and know all this is true: He always says to me: "We'll get you back in the party yet - we have the same surname." And no, I am not a deluded brownnoser. Mariella Frostrup, TV presenter Fiona Phillips, NGO directors and headteachers confirm to me that when at ease, our PM easily impresses. Two close friends of mine work with him and say he is challenging and inspiring. We must also remember that Blair's court was sleazy and Brown, in contrast, has some integrity.

Both Gordon and Sarah, the brilliant woman who has done so much to soften him, have real passion and charisma to communicate. But hidden treasures are no good if left buried. Privacy matters to them both. But they will have to sacrifice it to win the hearts of those now so disenchanted.