Only speak slang? It's a McJob for you

He said he liked my writing for being "str8 to the point", and had moved to London and was "tryna find the way". If I wanted to meet up, he said, "just holla at me".

I told him I don't speak Retard, and if he wanted to communicate it had to be in English, which he did, admitting he was a commodities broker and a graduate. His idiotic slang had been an inane attempt at ethnic camaraderie.

Many young people adopt stupid poses in the hope of looking edgy and "real". Playing football in Southall Park, my friends and I were accosted by a turbaned, baggy-outfitted adolescent, who asked in a ludicrous Jamaican accent: "Wuppan? Ya gwaan lemme plee wijju?" ("What's happening? Are you going to let me play with you?"). Stupefied, we let him join in.

Middle-class kids affect such personas, too, but at job interviews they revert to the impeccable English they were raised to speak. But working class and ethnic minority kids who form a habit of slang and mispronunciation can kiss their chances goodbye. Bad diction is regarded as proof of stupidity and a one-way ticket to the minimum wage, yet is indulged throughout our culture.

Working class and ethnic kids are constantly shown on TV speaking slang-ridden gibberish. And the moronic drawl Tim Westwood uses during his Radio 1 rap show ("my main man up in the building it's how we does" is his usual greeting) would be hilarious were it not for the members of the underclass who call in talking the same way.

While Westwood, the middle-aged son of the Archbishop of Peterborough, makes a fortune from exploiting stereotypes, his listeners are trapped by living as them - and encouraged to do so by the BBC.

A friend of mine, a black single mother, is scrupulously well spoken around her children. She can suck her teeth and cuss but she is determined that her children do well. Her seven-year-old son is beautifully mannered and articulate, qualities that will enable him to transcend the negative perceptions he will certainly encounter.

Her parents, like mine, knew the value of eloquence because they were denied the chance to have it themselves; now she passes those values on to her children. It's shameful that the powers that be should seek to undermine her hard work.