Our unfortunate culture minister David Lammy

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It's so artless I suspect he really did write it. Lammy doesn't have the faintest inkling what to do with this ludicrous event.

"We are going to get a big open-air screen in as many towns as we can," he promises. Then he announces that there will be some sort of international Shakespeare festival and an international museums exhibition, yet to be devised.

And that's it. Even Lammy seems to sense the ropeyness of these proposals, insisting hopelessly that the Olympiad "must be a world-class event", as though putting it like that ordains it to be so. Has the Dome taught us nothing? Now there's a silly question ..