Parent trap with harpoons thrown in

So I turned to television to while away the hours. I must say I agree with Joan Collins, who wrote recently in The Spectator that she could not understand, given their prolific film industry, why Americans are stuck with such a limited range of movies to watch during the holidays. We've all seen Father of the Bride and The Parent Trap too many times over here.

I turned to documentaries for relief. There were two standouts. The first was HBO's fly-on-the-wall account of the makeover of New York's famous Le Cirque restaurant by its Italian owners, the Maccione family. The tensions between the traditional, lovable paterfamilias, Sirio Maccione, 74, and his three more modern sons were laid out in splendid detail. Think The Godfather meets The Kitchen and you get the gist.

My other favourite is a series called Whale Wars. It chronicles the absolutely lunatic adventures of the boat Sea Shepherd and its captain, Paul Watson.

Watson is singlehandedly waging war with the Japanese, who claim they are within their rights to catch a certain quota of whales each year in the Antarctic.

Watson's crew throws the equivalent of stink bombs over the desk of one Japanese ship only to receive flash bombs in return. Watson is even shot, saved only by his Kevlar vest.

It's hard to tell if the young crew of Sea Shepherd is more appalled or thrilled by this dramatic retaliation. It feels like they're most excited to find the Japanese taking them so seriously.

Sea Shepherd conducts its quest to save whales rather like the Monty Python crew sought the Holy Grail. The crew spends days searching for Japanese boats in dire weather - only to discover, shortly after they are within range, that they are running out of fuel. A member of an assault team breaks his thumb. And so on

And to add to the viewer's fun, I've learned that Daryl Hannah is now on board. I cannot wait for the next instalment. It almost makes being sick worth it...

* Vicky Ward is a contributing editor for Vanity Fair.