Sketch: He'd bring Liberal grit to a Cameron government

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Mr Clegg suffers from looking like David Cameron's younger brother, but is developing a nice line in invective. Labour? "A living dead, no heart no mind. Shaun Of The Dead and I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue." The Tories slapped in their privates as indecisive and presumptuous.

After a ropey few months, here was Mr Clegg looking bright and by Lib-Dem standards, innovative.

Just when it looks interesting, he has a habit of tripping over his own shoelaces, so Mrs Clegg bit her lip, anticipating diversions into his student love-life. "I asked my office to do some research over the summer," said Mr Clegg. What a shame he did not ask it to enquire into the rate of the old age pension.

"Or course people can be cruel, brutal and selfish," said Mr Clegg. But that's enough about Lib-Dem leader assassinations. He garlanded his economic spokesman Vince Cable with praise, on the theory that if the party didn't believe his nostrums, they might take it better from Uncle Vince. "It's liberal to be sceptical about spending," Mr Clegg told an audience of stunned bigspenders and finally, "I can tell you where we're heading: Government."

He won their applause, even if they can't work out how they ended up with him. What a natural, challenging partner he could make for a Cameron government looking for a bit of Liberal grit in the oyster.

Oops: that's not in the script at all.