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The Muslim men we can all be proud of
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17 January 2008
Rich indeed from a woman who ran off with her lover, leaving behind her broken children. But then in order to get into the royal bloodline, this mother and her older daughters delivered their invaluable commodity - Diana - to the highest bidder before she was out of her teens.
The maligned Muslim lovers eventually brought happiness to the desperate young woman when all other men - from her brother to her treacherous staff - betrayed her trust. Walking through the field of flowers at Kensington Palace, I noticed many messages thanked Dodi for making Diana bloom. And Hasnat Khan, the heart surgeon she said was "Mr Wonderful", has integrity, the kind that has all but vanished in our celeb-drunk world.
For 10 years Khan has guarded his secrets. He could have made millions and chose not to. As the Diana inquest uncovers new evidence, Khan finally came out this week, a picture of sadness, humility and modesty. He loves her still, you feel. But if they had married, racism, the paparazzi and upper-class snobbery would have invaded their lives - so he walked away to save them both.
Muslim men get a terrible press, mostly portrayed as monstrous beaters of women and/or terrorists. I am guilty of writing too often on those villains and not nearly enough on the good men within our families and mosques.
They are steady, like Khan, and deeply respectful of women, intensely romantic, too, in an endearingly old-fashioned way. Urdu poetry and Arabic songs pay exquisite homage to womanhood and to lifelong love. My uncles, married for decades, still notice the perfumes on their wives and treasure them. Responsibility in marriage is valued in Muslim societies and when men maltreat their wives or leave them - and a good many do that - the decent men are outraged. A male friend has just married a young divorcee who was abominably treated by her ex-husband. He is highly educated and she is an illiterate from a Kashmiri village. But to him she is the most precious thing on earth.
These real gentlemen have class and integrity, unlike the sybaritic aristos who despise them. My fear is that Khan may be seduced by beckoning fame, partly because the memory of Diana haunts him so. Don't approach that pit of chaos, Mr Khan. It destroyed the princess and would bury you, too.
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