It's 15 years since Conran's Cantina del Ponte added its pseudo-Italian charms to Sir Tel's Thameside Gastrodrome (aka, Butler's Wharf). Now, like the rest of the Conran stable, it's owned by management buy-out company D&D.

So they call in Conran & Partners to turn it into a cross between a Carluccio's and a branch of Ask. Large preserving jars even call to mind the dreaded Prezzo. Clever, huh? Here are the dark, contemporary furnishings, the industrial lights, the cream, tessellated tiles, the wood-fired oven. Only the 1992 original mural gives it a suggestion of individuality.

The menu promises great treats but fails to deliver on all counts. I can only suppose that chef Brian Fantoni, latterly of highly regarded Enoteca Turi, was absent when we visited. How else to explain bruschetta of crayfish that tastes of fishy nail clippings? Or a dish of slow-cooked pork with cannellini beans of such startling ugliness that it defies eating. Or the black Venetian rice that comes with seared salmon that tastes of nothing at all. A pleasant, if anodyne, pizza - piquant? Er, no - causes the least offence. If I want a chain, I'll stick to Strada.

A meal for two with wine, water and service costs about £90. The Butler's Wharf Building, 36c Shad Thames SE1. Tel: 020 7403 5403. Tube: London Bridge/Tower Hill