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Madonna: Being a wife and mother isn't what I want
Last updated at 13:07pm on 03.11.06
Madonna confessed to being selfish on tour, having a massage rather than being with her children
Madonna said yesterday that she does not want to be a wife and a mother. And she confessed her older children, Lourdes, 10, and Rocco, six, complain that she neglects them.
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The controversial star made the startling admission just three weeks after creating a worldwide furore by adopting little David Banda in Malawi.
It came as she was quizzed on American TV about her six-year marriage with British film director Guy Ritchie.
Speaking on NBC-TV's Dateline programme, which is similar to Newsnight, she laughed with interviewer Meredith Vieira who said: "Six years... and they said it wouldn't last."
Then Madonna was asked: "How do you make it work?" She replied: "Well, it ain't easy. Being married and having kids is not exactly simple no matter who you are. In fact, trying to make those things work is quite a challenge. Sometimes you drop the ball."
She was asked when she last 'dropped the ball'. She replied: "When I was on tour, my focus is you know doing my show every night. And on my days off, they're not really days off.
"I have to be mom and and wife and there are times when I should have, you know, hung out with my kids, and I just said, "No, I need a massage. I'm gonna do that instead. You know? And I'm gonna be selfish."
Asked if the children complained, Madonna said: "Yeh. Definitely. Especially my oldest daughter."
Miss Vieira asked: "What does she say?" Madonna: "You know it was just, 'Ah! I can't wait till this is over with and we can have you back'.
"And you know, my son would say, 'How much longer is this gonna go on for? I mean, when are you gonna just be home?"
Miss Vieira pointed out: "Well, you could be home like that, if you wanted to. You've made all the money you ever need to make. You've got a nice life."
Madonna agreed, "Uh-huh," and added: "Well, I obviously I have things I want to say and accomplish... and I don't...
"Just staying home and looking after my children and being a mother and a wife is not what I want. I want more.
"If you want to affect change in the world, you do have to have a platform to stand on. And in order to have a platform to stand on, you have to keep doing your job. So, I guess that's why I'm juggling still."
Earlier in the programme, Dateline showed an interview with David's father, Yohane Banda, in his village in Malawi.
Mr Banda, who cannot read or write was asked, through a translator, why he had agreed to let the superstar - who he'd never heard of - adopt his son.
He said: "She looked very, very cheerful and from what I saw in her that she's the kind of person that would really—take care my son like a son. I had a very good impression from her."
Was he said to see David go? No, he said, "I was really not disappointed. I was really happy about the whole thing."
After seeing the interview, Madonna said she hoped to return to Malawi with David every year. But she seemed to suggest that she might not tell David about his biological father - at least for some time.
Madonna said: "I think most children who are adopted ultimately want to meet their biological parents and often do. I think that is an important journey for children who are adopted to go on."
But she added: "David is now starting his new life in his new home with his new family."
Madonna, who lost her own mother when she was a little girl, said she wants to find out more about David's biological mother, who died of AIDS.
She said: "I hope that one day, I'll be able to get information about her and maybe have pictures of her.
"I hope to be the mother that I didn't have, to David, and as I have hoped to be the mother to my other children."
After three weeks with them, Madonna said David had developed a personality. At first she said, he was so easygoing that she thought, "Wow, he's like the perfect child."
Now he throws tantrums, changes his mind about whether or not he wants food, and likes some people and not others. Madonna said: "He's got a terrible temper. He's very flirtatious. And he's hysterically funny."
Did any of that reflect Madonna? "Um... I do have a terrible temper," she laughed. Madonna was asked about pictures of her carrying David showing him wearing the red string emblem of her controversial Kaballah cult.
David was born a Christian, will he be raised a Christian, she was asked? She said: "He's only you know 13 months old. He's too young to have been indoctrinated into any kind of belief system. But if David decides he wants to be a Christian, then so be it.
"I believe in Jesus and I study Kabbalah. So, I don't see why he can't too."
Reader views (4)
Perhaps Madonna will do what a lot of stars do when they adopt. They hire someone else to raise them.
- Linda Webber, Fairfield,CA. USA
So what if Madonna also has a life and career outside of her children. She does have a husband as well - half of the child care should be his in any case.
- Karen, London
If Madonna's own natural children complain that she doesn't have enough time for them, then how can she possibly dream of spreading her elusive self around enough adopted children, should she go on to have a "rainbow" family.
- Angela, Ilford, England
After reading this, anyone that still thinks this woman is suitable to be an adoptive mother needs their eyes opening. Very admirable of her to confess her failings but kinda puts her out of the running for the Loving Mother of the Year awards.
- Isabel, Woking, England
