When Michael Jackson jets into London, the last thing he wants is to be spotted by his adoring fans. So the singer will usually do everything he can to ensure that his whereabouts are kept top secret even if it means pretending to be woman.

• Jacko jets in to sell Beatles to Macca

He was so desperate not to be found that he checked into west London's posh Jumeirah Carlton Tower hotel under a woman's name.

Plush digs: Michael Jackson is staying at the Jumeira Carlton hotel

Wacko, 48, is currently holed up in the £3,000-a-night presidential suite on the 18th floor of the five-star hotel on Cadogan Place.

But the staff there weren't exactly over the moon(walk) to see him. Since he has been there he has thrown the place into chaos.

The music superstar is staying in the £3,000 a night presidential suite

Jacko would certainly give J Lo a good run for her money on the diva stakes by bringing a team of 10 security guards to look after him and his two kids - Prince, 10, and nine-year-old Paris Michael - on their whistlestop visit to London, which will end on Sunday.

He has placed two scary bouncers by the lift doors on the 18th floor around the clock to make sure that nobody outside his entourage can get any access to them.

Our man with the tray added: "We have many big stars staying here, but Michael is very fussy. He has his own waiter and they stay with him the whole time.

"He has a massive group with him and they are taking up the whole top floor of the place and making our jobs difficult... because it is all top secret and we have to make sure that nobody knows he is here."

Jacko had one staff member in such a tizzy she was tearfully overheard saying: "I was so worried, I couldn't find this place, I am scared that I am late and going to get into trouble."

While he is maybe staying in one of London's poshest places, it was evident his bankruptcy fears have not yet gone away - because staff at the Carlton moaned about how he isn't exactly the most generous of tippers.

One said: "Madonna always gives us money, Jacko hasn't yet."

While he is in town, the former Jackson Five star hopes to meet up with his big brother Jermaine - who is still in England after taking part in this year's Celebrity Big Brother - and his good friend David Gest.