Prom Night (15)

Worst film of the week  -  and a dead cert for the title 'most pitiful slasher flick of the year'  -  is this remake of a fourth-rate horror movie from 1980, which starred Jamie Lee Curtis screaming her head off.

This one's packed with talentless nonentities who are killed in no particular order, and it's another formulaic chiller about a madman preying on high-school students. Any suspense as to the axe-wielding killer's identity goes out of the window right away  -  it's Johnathon Schaech, who once seemed to have a future, but here is reduced to playing a kind of psychopathic Forrest Gump.

The final cut: Brianne Davis in trouble

The central characters are creeps; J. S. Cardone's dialogue is atrocious; Nelson McCormick's direction lacks any notion of suspense; and his determination to avoid gore means it won't even satisfy its core audience of sensation-seeking idiots.

It's very, very boring, and the only way I managed to keep myself awake was by spotting the numerous continuity errors, plot holes, examples of poor lip-synching and lazy factual errors.

No one involved, for example, seems to care that Oregon, where the film is supposedly set, is not exactly noted for LA-style palm trees, or that stabbing through clothing leaves holes.

Verdict: Die rather than see this

Turkey