So Trinny Woodall and Susannah Constantine, the queens of mean, have been toppled from their throne, and it seems unlikely they will poke and pull and ridicule the pear-shaped, saddle-bagged women of Britain for much longer.

Their ITV reality show, Undress The Nation, has hit a ratings low - damaged, no doubt, by the rather more sympathetic style guru Gok Wan over on Channel 4. Before they disappear to the fashion graveyard, along with snow-washed denim blousons and the scrunchie, style guru Liz Jones casts a withering eye over their fashion bloomers...

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Images from left: 1. Acceptable in the eighties? Susannah should have stuck with the Alice band; 2. Trinny's jutting backbone; 3. Susannah's Dynasty phase; 4. Trinny's attempt at sexy

1.  In the eighties, most of us wore very short leather skirts, opaque Wolford tights and big hair, so let's give Susannah the benefit of the doubt here. Oh, let's not. She's one of those awful Sloanes who would have looked so much better in the uniform of navy courts, an Alice band and a cardi over her shoulders.

2.  Oh dear, take a look at Trinny's jutting backbone and the way her skin bags about on her, like an elephant's - she's obviously not ingested a carb since the early Seventies. Her Iggy Pop-like frame is testimony to the fact that being thin is easy to dress, but adds at least 20 years to your age.

3.  This picture, taken in the Eighties, shows Susannah at her worst, in over-sized jacket with padded shoulders and a spattering of polka dots for that extra dose of hideousness, an over-long skirt and flats. She obviously had no sense of style whatsoever, garnering tips from TV shows such as Dynasty and Dallas.

4.  This one echoes a mistake many of us make: trying to be something we are not. Trinny is trying to look sexy - with leopard print and pleating over her bust to make it appear more ample and too much eye make-up. She has opted, too, for knee-length leggings - a sure sign she has a problem with her knees.

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Images from left: 5. Oh Susannah!; 6. skinny sequin scarves; 7. Double trouble - which is worse?

5.  Oh Susannah! Levis only really work on the tall and skinny, and that tiny sequin shrug just emphasises an ample bosom. Trinny's muddy all-in-one looks so awful she is trying to hide behind her dangly necklace.

6.  Do you remember the winter we all wore skinny sequin scarves? Here, it makes them look like they've been eaten by vampires the night before. I think Trinny really suits the cloche hat Twenties vibe, but teamed with a mannish suit it looks mismatched. Susannah is in that curious shade of mulberry found in so many cheap high street shops, such as Kew. And her pointy boots look painful.

7.  I don't know which outfit is worse here. Susannah has donned her pirate look, with jeans tucked into cheap boots (always a mistake) and a cardi falling off creamy shoulders. Trinny has brought out the shrug again, the beads to hang herself with later, and low-slung velvet trousers - to show off that cadaverous torso.

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Images from left: 8. Underwear as outerwear; 9. Three fashion horrors in one

8.  Susannah has forgotten to take the rollers out of her hair and is doing that 'underwear as outerwear' look kick started by a snooty shop in Chelsea called Voyage. She is wearing her pashmina in a curiously Scottish way, and could well be hiding Trinny beneath that capacious skirt.

9.  Well, at least she looks saner than the man on her right, but Trinny is sporting three fashion horrors in one. There's the too-short, floaty baby doll; silver (silver!) leggings, in a bid to detract from the short skirt and hide her legs (which she hates), and peep-toe raffia platforms. All in all, it's a strangely schizophrenic look  -  when at night she should just do Thirties bias-cut satin evening gowns and have done with it.

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Images from left: 10. All wrong and overexposed; 11. Pity she didn't lose the other shoe...; 12. Trinny screams of insecurity; 13. Even criticised by pre-teens

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Oh, dear God. A biker jacket with pearls - proof you can never destroy your inner Sloane. Susannah has a very pretty face with great skin and huge blue eyes, but over the decades she has eclipsed her beauty with a passion for dreadful fashion.

10.  I hate the fashion for really wide belts. I hate, too, anything green. What I hate most about this outfit  -  apart from the bias-cut, faux Missoni skirt  -  is the fact that Trinny is exposing her nipples. This is rude and unnecessary.

11.  This must be the Eighties: matelot sweater, corset belt, voluminous skirt and bucket bag so people can steal your wallet at will. Susannah appears to have lost a shoe. (It's a pity she kept hold of one of them.)

12.  Oh dear, this screams insecurity. The chunky platforms should never be worn once you pass 40, and the keyhole maxi dress and Farrah Fawcett hair are straight from the dressing-up box.

13.  My friend's 11-year-old looked at this picture and asked: 'How come, when she dresses so funny, she has her own programme telling women what to wear?' Out of the mouths of near-teens... Susannah makes the common mistake of wearing all the contents of her wardrobe at once: polka dots, a boxy bolero, an over-the-top necklace and pedal pushers.

14.  Oh, dear God. A biker jacket with pearls  -  proof you can never destroy your inner Sloane. Susannah has a very pretty face with great skin and huge blue eyes, but over the decades she has eclipsed her beauty with a passion for dreadful fashion.

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Images from left: 15. That shrug again; 16. A tiny evening bag is a bad sign; 17. Fashion overkill.

15.  Why does Trinny insist on wearing those awful shrugs? (I hope to God it's not real fur!) Her flannel slacks are too big for her, and too long. Susannah is wearing old boots she found in a charity shop, and a crazy dress that enlarges her breasts. And what is it with the hideous ropes of cheap beads? Do they plan to hang themselves later?

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18. Here is proof that a fall does come, inevitably, after too much pride. Trinny, in a pair of vertiginous Louboutins, shows, as she tumbles into a Mini, that all women make mistakes, all of the time. Women shouldn't take diktats from these two, or anyone else, too seriously. It is far more important to be happy and interesting.

16.  Trinny looks like a Masai warrior. Is she worried her neck is too scrawny? The stripes make Susannah look wider, and I do hate a woman with a teensy evening bag: it smacks of an unwillingness to drive/pay/ touch up one's make-up.

17.  Susannah's make-up looks pretty, but her dress is far too tight and her heels too high. Trinny's trousers are flattering, but the faux fox is too much. And her hair looks as if she has just come out of a wind tunnel.

18.  Here is proof that a fall does come, inevitably, after too much pride. Trinny, in a pair of vertiginous Louboutins, shows, as she tumbles into a Mini, that all women make mistakes, all of the time. Women shouldn't take diktats from these two, or anyone else, too seriously. It is far more important to be happy and interesting.