SACK Keegan now - he's merely impersonating a football manager and should go back to his circus
BECKHAM'S Brazilian soccer school jaunt should spell the end of his England career
BORO chairman Gibson floors Downing's greedy agent

Last updated at 08:54am on 31.01.08

Sack Kevin Keegan today. Admit you got it wrong. Tell him to go back to his Soccer Circus in Glasgow. Offer him a free seat whenever he wants to come back as thanks for his past glories, but never again allow him to take charge of your football team.

It was bad enough under Big Sam, drawing 0-0 at Stoke and then celebrating the result, long throws, lumping the ball into the corners ... but at least it went forward.

• Yesterday's Hatchet Man

Now Keegan has played three, scored none and his team have barely even shot at goal. This is no way to rescue a football club.

Newcastle were a shambles at Arsenal. It finished 3-0 but could have been double that. Michael Owen was weak and washed out and, while his team-mates were no better, he is Keegan's new captain.

Their performance was a sad impression of a proud club and the supporters heading back to King's Cross for the long journey home were beginning to realise that Keegan should have stayed away. No sign of the King Keegan crowns - they've realised that the man who now sits on the bench is an imposter as a Premier League manager.

Dennis Wise, it is said, has taken his executive director role because he wanted to step away from day-to-day management. He might just want to make sure his tracksuit is washed and ironed.

••••••

Joey Barton arrived from the bench wearing the famous Newcastle No 7 shirt once worn by Kevin Keegan.

Makes you realise how far the mighty have fallen, doesn't it?

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David Beckham in Brazil promoting another Soccer School and looking toned and tanned as he stripped for the cameras and showed his keepy-up skills.

All good so far, apart from the fact that he was meant to be proving his fitness to Fabio Capello, rather than going off an another jaunt.

It's the bit about being in Brazil that bothers me. He's not playing just now, he's not even training. It doesn't even look as if he's trying.

Those images may just prove to be the end of him as an England player.

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Bolton 0 Fulham 0 made me think of two points.

1) Wonder if the Bolton board are still pleased with the business of selling Nicolas Anelka, who would probably have won this game for them.

2) Aren't you glad you didn't have to go?

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And here in common-sense corner we have appearing, not for the first time, the Middlesbrough chairman Steve Gibson, a man who is always worth listening to.

His club has offered Stewart Downing £35,000-a-week to sign a new contract, even though there are still two-and-a-half years left on his existing five-year deal. His agent, Ian Elliott, has issued a statement to say that the terms are "unacceptable" while he tries to manoeuvre a transfer to Spurs and so Gibson has gone on the attack, accusing the agent of "playing a dangerous game", refusing to increase the offer and saying that Elliott is "a man who, in any other walk of life, you wouldn't give 10 minutes of your time to". Gibson is a bright man, an honest owner and a loyal chairman. Let's hear more from him, he talks a bloody good game. Cross him at your peril.

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The Africa Cup of Nations is worth a visit for exciting attacking football, poor defending and the type of hopeless goalkeeping that makes you think Paul Robinson isn't so bad after all.

But the best bit about the whole event is the dancing goal celebrations. Let's have some of that in the Premier League please, instead of sulking Thierry Henry-like moodily into the camera.

We come to be entertained. Kindly remember that.

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HE SAID: "Newcastle is a great club with some of the best fans in the world" - David Beckham

HE MEANT: "If I don't get my 100th cap next week, I might need a move closer to home. Hold on Kev ... I'm coming to save you."

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