Joy, relief and even disbelief all rolled into one

Joy, relief, disbelief. Those were a few of the emotions mixed together and I for one did not know whether to laugh or cry. We just ran to Graeme Swann, who was bowling, and the rest is a bit of a blur.

It was something completely different to anything I have experienced.

Cricket is a game we love playing. Then, if you are lucky, it becomes your job, and moments like beating Australia to win back the Ashes in front of your friends, family and thousands of cheering, clapping supporters is something you dream about when you're a kid.

When England last beat the Aussies, in 2005, I was at the Brit Oval to start with but didn't stay for the whole Test after being made 12th man.

But the guys like Fred, Straussy and Harmy, who played in that game and were also in the team this time, said that the feeling yesterday was even better because we were all on the field together at the moment of victory.

Back in 2005, the lads were in the dressing room, away from the crowd, when the game was called off as a draw and the Ashes were sealed.

Although I was not involved four years ago, I do know that England's successful run for maybe 18 months before that series had a lot to do with the victory over Australia. This time, I think we can look back to a horrible defeat seven months ago for putting us on the road to success.

It was the start of a new era, with Andrew Strauss as captain and Andy Flower as coach, but we were bowled out for 51 in Jamaica and lost by an innings to the West Indies.

Some people might think you try to bury the memory of a performance like that and pretend it never happened but far from it in our case. We often recall it, remember exactly what it was like, remind ourselves how far we have come since then and then stress to each other that we never want to return to that low point.

Headingley, a couple of weeks ago? Yes, that was a pretty rotten performance as well but we knew we could put it right and there was never any doubt in our minds that we had the ability and the mental strength to beat Australiain the deciding Test

This series has swung first one way and then the other. But now it is all over I think a lot of people will look back to the first match, in Cardiff, and suggest that when we escaped with a draw that was a big turning point.

Paul Collingwood batted brilliantly on the final day to give us a chance and then Monty (Panesar) and I managed to see out the last few overs to keep Australia at bay.

I know Monty would have loved to have played more than one game. But he did a great job with the bat in Cardiff and that, really, has been the story of the whole series. People have contributed in many different ways.

And that is what we are; a squad, rather than a team. Yes, we are going to miss Fred but have strength in depth and we believe we can keep getting better. To become the No 1 Test team in the world is a definitely a goal.

So what about Fred? He was pretty emotional once the game was over and we were all thanking him for everything he has done.

That run-out of Ricky Ponting was pretty special, wasn't it? But while people can see what he gives to the team with his batting, bowling and fielding, they're probably not aware of how he contributes in other ways.

At certain points during the game, when the Australians put together some big partnerships, a few guys were getting a little bit edgy, but Fred was the one who calmed everyone down.

As for me, I'm disappointed not to have chipped in with wickets in the last two Tests but I'm fairly happy with my overall performance through the series. The bottom line is that we regained the Ashes, which was all any of us ever wanted.