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Matt Damon watches on as John Terry takes lead role in The Blues Supremacy
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08 February 2010
Courage Under Fire, his 1996 Gulf War I movie, seemed the obvious choice. If JT isn't invariably an easy man to like off the field, on it he inspires only admiration and awe.
At the Bridge yesterday, with no more than that hang-dog expression to hint at the unyielding trauma, Terry was magnificent — flawless in defence, dangerous in attack and impressive in moving Chelsea from one end of the pitch to the other by sparking the counter-attacks that predictably defined this game.
So splendid was he that I refuse to dwell on another Damon high point — the spoof pop video "I'm F****** Matt Damon" in which he reveals, through the medium of song, that he's sleeping with a pal's girlfriend, Sarah Silverman ("On the bed, on the floor, up against the bathroom door," as Matt and Sarah sing it, "in the tub, in the car, up against the mini-bar").
Arsene Wenger is advised to YouTube it this instant. This is one of the funniest things ever and the Alsatian could certainly use a laugh after seeing his team splattered beneath the wheels of the Chelsea juggernaut yet again.
If this was a sharper, less chaotic Arsenal effort than the previous Sabbath's capitulation to Manchester United, the chasm between genuine Premier League challengers and title pretenders was still clear enough.
A good big 'un will always beat a good little 'un, boxing cliche instructs, and so it was here.
Arsenal were all clever but with harmless jabs, while Chelsea, so adept at rope-a-dope, waited patiently for the openings before connecting with the haymakers.
Why Wenger naively walked into what, since Carlo Ancelotti formally announced his plan on Friday, can hardly be called a trap, I've no idea. But in so far as Arsenal had any tactics, they were lifted verbatim from the Kamikaze Pilots' Guide To Association Football.
So it was that Chelsea won comfortably by relying on their three strongest vertebrae. If Terry was superb, Petr Cech looked like the peerless goalkeeper he was before that head injury at Reading left all that psychological scar tissue.
Admittedly, Arsenal's crossing never tested his fragile confidence when claiming high balls but on the rare occasions a tricky save was required — once when Cesc Fabregas exquisitely found Andrey Arshavin close to goal and later when, partly unsighted, he reacted superbly to a Fabregas free-kick — he made it with imperious lack of fuss.
As for the third of that holy spinal trinity, what can be said about The (Obscenely) Talented Mr Drogba that hasn't been said before?
Perhaps, this. Almost unimaginably, the Ivorian is improving as his 32nd birthday approaches.
From turning in Terry's header after eight minutes to missing out
on hat-trick when that dipping, toe-poked, Ronaldo-esque free-kick struck the bar late on, he raised his traditional tormenting of the Arsenal to a new level.
A world-class player for years, Drogba is developing into a history class player . . . one who deserves consideration for any Greatest Of All Time squad. If his finishing matched the rest of his game, there wouldn't be a shred of doubt.
Arsenal couldn't begin to cope with his touch, balance and power and when he ambled through a massed defence to lash home his and Chelsea's second of the game, it was less sheep and goats, or men and boys — much more rabbits and headlights.
Arsenal's Premier League title challenge didn't end at Stamford Bridge yesterday.
It never existed outside Wenger's madly intransigent head and won't exist until he conquers his pride by buying some height, strength and veteran experience.
As for Chelsea, this was more than welcome respite from hideous headlines and an opportunity to teach Matt Damon that scandal-ridden British sports stars do not, like their US brethren, hide away in sex addiction clinics.
This was the day they informed title rivals Manchester United that it will take more than Wayne Rooney's golden scoring form and Nani's emergence as a dangerous winger to retain their Premier League crown. The Blues Supremacy is close at hand.
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