Great to be here in the country where they made soccerball, just hope Sir Becks doesn't beat us with a 68.4-yard field goal

Wow, man. Just getting the airplane into LHR this morning was an experience. Saw all the sights: Buckinghamshire Palace, London Bridge, the circus at Piccadilly . . . We even flew over Stamford Ballpark, where JT, Peter the Czech and the Cole brothers play. It is my favourite franchise.

I think I gotta glimpse of the New Wemberley Stadium too. Gee whiz it looks bigger than my pop said. But he reckons it hasn't been the same since the Twin Towers came down. Don't know what Al-Qaida gotta do with it but the Brits sure built it up bigger and better. Never let those terrorists win.

Over here: US fans whoop it up at the soccerball game

This is probably the biggest match-up ever. Like, totally. It's an honour to play in the country where they made soccerball up nearly 60 years ago. But even back in 1950 we beat Britain at the first World Bowl, and now we've got Sir David Beckham!

It must be emotional for him to line up against his old team tonight. I just hopes he doesn't embarrass them with another 68.4-yard field goal like he scored at the weekend. Totally.

Far out: Beckham scores from 70 yards for the LA Galaxy against Kansas City Wizards last Saturday

The Galaxy wide receiver might not clock up the rushing yards like he used to, but you can still trust him to hit winning passes without getting sacked. His completion rate of 0.8379 is the best since John Harkes – and he was a Hall of Famer with the Sheffield Steelers.

Can't wait to see Tim Howard, the Liverpool Blues goaltender. He used to play for my hometown franchise, the Metrostars, but no one could tell why he swore at them all the time. Maybe that's why he hasn't been drafted into the main Liverpool team. But he's unstoppable for the Stars & Stripes: 0.9120 at blocking on even-numbered days in the summer months. Owen Michaels – The Heartbreak Kid – hasn't got a chance!

There was a time when the United States was the losingest team on the planet. Then we showed everyone with the World Bowl in 1994. We would have won it if Diana Ross hadn't missed that PK. She knows how JT and Nicko A feel. What were we thinking letting a chick take it?

But that was years ago. For some reason they won't let us play in the Bowl in Austria and Swaziland this year. But we've already qualified for the Confederations Cup – the big one – next year in South Africa.

But it's not fair – the next Bowl is also in South Africa in 2010. They oughtta let us hold the one after in 2012 but I think it's in Europe again – we've waited long enough.

It don't matter though. We proved we was the best in the Gold Cup in the summer series last year, even though we were in the "Death Group" with Guatemala, Trinidad & Tobago and El Salvador. The Guatemalans gave us a real run for our dollars, with the only goal from Clint Dempsey. It was a peach, though – a real worm-burner right into the corner of meshing. At first I thought it was from behind the three-point line.

Way to go, Clint: Dempsey puts a good block on Joe Cole in Chicago in 3005

Coach Bradley is a genius. Fabio Coppola doesn't even speak English properly. Then again, I didn't realise that most of Britain's states have their own language. JT is the captain but only seems to speak Cockles. Then there's the Scouses, Geordieboys, Brummers, the Scotch and the Polish.

Sir Becks has learned a bit of English since he came to LA, but he's still clearly struggling. How the quarterback manages to call the plays I have no idea. But seeing as we're not in the Bowl this semester, I hope Britain wins it.

It will be interesting to see how the Three Tigers do against T&T in their last game before going to Swaziland. If only Sir Becks was still playing for Britain they might just win the trophy.

Nice turn-out for Vegas, guys, but shame about the anthem

I'm a bit nervous about the national anthem tonight. The Brits have high standards in music as the home of the Beatles and Duran Duran. A lot of people were hurt when the Brits jeered the Star Spangled Banner at the Richard Hatton fight in Las Vegas. We didn't think the guy sung it bad at all. I heard Manchester Blues fan Hatton was going to sing it at New Wemberley but there's a rumour he got Frank Shinawatra to do it instead. I thought 'Ol Blue Eyes was dead.

I just hope it doesn't go to PKs tonight. My flight is quite early in the morning. As long as I get a good seat, beer and corndog for the game – plus a cracking half-time extravaganza – I don't mind.

Otherwise, as they say in London, I'll be sick as John Parrott. What a nine-ball player has to do with it I don't know, but you gotta love those funny Brits.