Hatchet Man's final reckoning: Raging Rooney is hardly one to give Chelsea fall guy Drogba a lecture

So it must be Murphy's Law that when he finally says something worth listening to he is the least appropriate person to say it.

The Croxteth Terror reckons Didier Drogba sometimes "seems as if his head's not quite there" and I couldn't agree more.

Roo-d boy: Wayne Rooney gives referee Steve Bennett a mouthful

If Chelsea's lone striker feels a twinge in his occasionally dodgy knee or is pining for former manager Jose Mourinho, he seems to revert to his less than convincing self.

The old diving habit returns and Drogba looks like he is holding something back, with his physical presence less imposing than usual.

There has been a lot more of that this season under Avram Grant and when the Ivory Coast international is not on his game Chelsea fans would be justified in suspecting he is dreaming of Milan.

But Rooney has got to be one of the last people who should be pointing this out.

The Manchester United striker can be confident that no one will ever accuse him of giving less than 100 per cent, but always having his mind on the game? You've got to be joking.

When the red mist descends on Rooney it seems as if the only thing he cares about in the world is the target of his rage.

Ask any referee who has dared to make a decision that he didn't like.

Hatchet Man has seen his fair share of Sunday football outbursts and rucks but the abuse Rooney spits out is in a league of its own.

If the FA had any balls they would hold his behaviour up as the example of everything they are trying to rid the game of in their Respect campaign.

And it is not only officials Rooney goes after. He has been known to hold a grudge in games too.

He was shown a shocking 13 yellow cards this season, 11 last term and the same number plus two reds in 2005-06. Even with the odd mis-timed tackle, that doesn't exactly add up to complete focus on the game. VIDEO: Here's a Rooney Euro red card...

VIDEO: But beware Chelsea, this is what he can do to you ...

On the subject of mind games, Hatchet Man enjoys the nonsense that is spouted in the build-up to big games as much as anyone.

But with the first all-English Champions League Final just hours away the loony logic being adopted by some has to be setting new benchmarks.

Petr Cech is a nice bloke and a great goalkeeper but despite qualifications in Czech, English, Social Science and German and preparations for a university degree, sporting mastermind he is not.

He claims that Manchester United's Premier League success could hurt them against Chelsea in Moscow tomorrow night.

He seems to think that Sir Alex Ferguson's side will suffer motivation problems because they are more relaxed after taking one trophy.

That sounds about as likely as an orange goalkeeper's top making the wearer look bigger to opponents - another of Cech's recent nuggets.

Tottenham might have fitted the bill with their slacking off after the Carling Cup final but can anyone remember the Knighted Scot putting out a team that isn't hungry for success?

Tomorrow night's game is the biggest ever involving this country's clubs - the eyes of the world will be on them and the Champions League is THE one as far as Ferguson is concerned.

United also had their pride dented at Stamford Bridge recently and will need no motivating in Moscow. Fergie will probably be more worried about keeping his players calm than revving them up.

If anyone thinks the hype surrounding the final is getting out of proportion here, consider the reaction in South Korea.

Ji-sung Park will become the first Asian player to take part at this stage of the competition if he plays for United and media in his homeland are claiming that has made the game almost as big as the forthcoming Olympics.

The match kicks off at 3.45am Seoul time and one TV producer said: "The Beijing Olympics is a bigger sports story but for football fans in Korea, Park and the Champions League is the biggest sports event of 2008.''

Is Gianluca Vialli taking a leaf out of another former Chelsea manager's book when he slags the club off as more boring since Roman Abramovich took over?

He said: "Chelsea are like a beautiful wife who married a richer man after leaving me. A wife who was probably more fascinating when she was less sophisticated, and simple, but still makes your head turn."

Claudio Ranieri anyone?

If I had one devalued rouble for every time I've been told Roman Abramovich wants Chelsea to be good to watch that, I would still be a rich man.

The retelling of the oligarch's outlook from Stamford Bridge is unrelenting but I wonder if we have all misunderstood Red Rom a little.

If his reported taste in art is anything to go by we certainly have: here is the Lucian Freud Big Sue "masterpiece" he is supposed to have paid £17.2million for.

Whoever appointed the officials for tomorrow's game either has an evil sense of humour or likes inviting trouble.

Jose Mourinho may have left Chelsea but that does not mean it is wise to appoint the officials who gave a "ghost goal" against them at Liverpool in the Champions League semi-finals in 2005.

His replacement, Avram Grant, has just caused consternation at the FA by airing doubts about the integrity of some Premier League referees publicly and it doesn't take a genius to work out what the reaction will be if Lubos Michel or his assistants make controversial calls in Moscow.

Giving up the ghost: Lubos Michel is hardly Chelsea's favourite referee

Positive PR for UEFA? Hardly. Maybe they should have listened to the linesman who gave Luis Garcia's goal instead of reappointing him to a showpiece involving Chelsea.

Months after the Anfield furore, Roman Slysko said: "I did not enjoy being the centre of attention. Officials are best when there is nothing written or said about him.

"I never spoke to Mourinho or anyone from Chelsea about the goal but I do not expect to do any of their games in Europe. I don't think the UEFA referees' committee would send us. It could be taken as a provocation and too controversial."

A message for Steve McClaren after his reported job offer from Dutch side FC Twente: Go for it, you have found your level.

Twente may have just qualified for the Champions League but PSV they are not and they can expect to be whipping boys in Europe.

McClaren deserves to end up in a football backwater after his performance as England manager and must accept he will have to earn his way back to the big time.