LIFE in Panini world at Man City another case of 'first half good, second half not so good'


CELTIC are full of cast-offs and Rangers comprise of rejects - but they can't half scrap


AND Chelsea go for glory in the Russian Railways Cup

And so Manchester City entered the season like a Panini sticker collector filling an album. New players arrived by the tram-load.

They've since beaten Manchester United twice, but for the Thai typhoon, a respectable finish towards the top six is not enough. He wants world domination now. (Yes, he even looks like a character from an Austin Powers movie)

• Click here to read yesterday's Hatchet Man

Too many of the new signings can be eye-catching one week but go missing every other game (Elano, Petrov ... has anyone seen £8.8million Bianchi?) as they signed players the top teams had discarded as not good enough.

[Editor's note: Bianchi's banging in the goals on loan at Lazio]

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It started well, it got better for a while and they were top at one stage, but as we enter the closing stages of the season with Sven Goran Eriksson facing the bullet and City drifting, it all looks like a mess again.

Some things you can never change. Even with money.

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"I am not happy with our performance in the second half of the season," says Thaksin.

Another case for Sven of "first half good, second half not so good".

VIDEO: The story of Sven dropping his pants all over the world...

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Latest from the west London asylum: Chelsea will play in a four-team pre-season tournament in Russia this summer.

Participation in the Russian Railways Cup, taking place at Lokomotiv's Central Stadium and also including AC Milan, has brought this response from chief executive Peter Kenyon: "It will be the first time Chelsea has been to Russia for pre-season so this has the added advantage of providing excellent preparation for the new season with the opportunity for our growing number of fans in Moscow to see us play live twice."

Or, in other words: "Yes, Mr Abramovich. Whatever you say."

Next they'll be playing on his yacht.

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On the subject of pre-season trips, Manchester City are off to Hong Kong.

What happened to the days when you helped your local club with a friendly up the road, parading a new signing or two as the locals packed the creaking main stand in a fixture that helped pay the bills for the rest of the season?

West Ham would go to Orient or Southend, Newcastle might accept an offer from Tow Law Town, the Manchester clubs sent a team to Altrincham and Tamworth, or their like, would welcome Aston Villa or Birmingham?

We all know what happened. Think banks and cash and foreign owners and "a duty to our fans all over the world". On second thoughts, just think banks and cash and foreign owners.

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Watched the Old Firm game on Setanta last night as a 2-1 win for Celtic kept alive slim hopes they might win the title. It's football, but not as we know it.

They play at the fastest pace you will see on a football pitch. Sort of Australian Rules meets ice hockey mixed with a pinball machine. They play spot the ball during the match.

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Quality? Not much. Here we have big clubs, the best two teams in a two-team league and players selected who can't get into first teams at West Ham (Christian Dailly) and Fulham (Steven Davis).

This collection of mainly cast-offs and cheap talent put on one hell of a match, however, with tackles to make you wince and no room for the weak-hearted.

Let's be honest, as teams they would both probably struggle to finish in the top half of the Barclays Premier League, but as rivals they put on admirable entertainment.

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Goalscorers from Japan, Holland and Spain, but how many Scotsmen in the two starting line-ups in the Old Firm game? Eleven. Seven for Rangers, four for Celtic plus Aiden McGeady, who was born in Scotland, but chose to play for Ireland.

That's E-L-E-V-E-N for our readers in England, where we don't see many English players any more.

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On Sky they had the FA Youth Cup Final, won by Manchester City's mostly English team with six players who have played together since they were nine. Congratulations to them.

But Chelsea, beaten 4-2 on aggregate, went down snarling and the late red card for a shocking challenge in the closing stages was not pleasing to the eye. At least it shows they teach their kids early.

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Nice work from Fabio Capello with Aids-stricken kids in Africa, but I'd be just as impressed if he was able to conduct an interview in English. How long is it since he took the (£6m-a-year) job to run our national team?

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Who has the best fans? Newcastle or Sunderland? Manchester City or Portsmouth? Or could it be Derby, who have sold 19,000 season tickets for next season.

You either have to be loyal or bloody crazy to go back and watch that rubbish again. And this time you don't get to see any decent opposition players.

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I couldn't help but feel a little jealous as the rugby lot unveiled Martin Johnson, as English as St George, bangers and mash and Sam Fox, whereas in football we have to go abroad with the begging bowl for our coach.

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WAG of the week is Elena Santarelli , the girlfriend of Manchester City's Bernardo Corradi (currently on loan at Parma, where he is their captain). Why does his girlfriend qualify for our honour? You do the math...

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