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Monty Panesar: Remember, it's important that I don't get too excited
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22 May 2008
So when I'm bowling, I'll imagine I'm on the edge of a cliff, knowing that one wrong step and I'm off.
Thinking like that keeps me on my toes and stops me becoming too relaxed or complacent. Old Trafford is the place where I've taken 18 Test wickets at 15.55 and I was man of the match last year when I took 10 in the victory over West Indies.
But if I get too relaxed that's when I get hit for sixes and fours.
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Eyes down: umpire Hair and Monty at nets
My biggest challenge here is to maintain my patience and composure. It would be easy to think the ball is going to turn and bounce and I'll take loads of wickets.
It is so easy to get ahead of yourself, especially if you are as excitable as me. I start thinking I'm going to bowl a side out in two overs.
Of course, that isn't realistic, but I can't help getting carried away. I have to try to get the walking bit right before I start to run, but it is difficult. If I see the ball turn straight away I want to get loads of people round the bat and my heart's pounding - boom, boom, boom!
What I have to do is hang back, take a deep breath and remain calm. I must recognise that I'll have a lot of overs to bowl and just take it ball-byball.
That is what world-class spinners like Daniel Vettori do. They have self-control, but I just get excited! If I see one turn I think: 'Wow! I've got to pitch the next one on leg stump to hit off stump.'
Then, because I force it, the next ball will slide on past leg stump.
Sometimes the keeper or the captain have to say to me: 'Come on, keep calm.'
I try to keep it together and maintain the pressure, but then if I bowl two good balls I lose my focus - thinking I'm going to rip through the opposition.
I must ignore what has happened in the past or I'll get far too excited.
There is always good - sometimes uneven - bounce here and sharp turn out of the rough at a decent pace, creating the ultimate conditions for a spinner.
It is more helpful for me than anywhere on the subcontinent. I've enjoyed bowling here but also England have done well here.
This is a ground where we win a lot so it's a real shame we won't be back here for a few years.
As a player you think: Why can't we play where we're good? It's frustrating.
At Lord's, the ball was coming out really well. I created plenty of chances and on another day I'd have taken a few more wickets.
I'm happy with my basics, the timing of my action and the lines I'm bowling. It all felt in tune.
There has been a lot of discussion about my appealing but the reason I'm doing it more often is because of a technical adjustment I've made.
When I come round the wicket I have shifted about five inches nearer the stumps, so the ball pitches on middleand- off, rather than just outside the line of off stump.
That means when it hits the pad there's a good chance it is going to be out.
After a match I go through the replays to check on my consistency of appealing because it is important to respect the game and the officials.
I check whether, when I've appealed, the ball would have hit the stumps.
The majority of the time at Lord's the ball would have gone on to hit the stumps so I am comfortable with the way I've been appealing.
Every now and then an umpire will tell me to relax a little bit.
Sometimes my excitement comes out a bit too much and I think they understand that.
But I don't lose my temper with umpires or swear at them. I respect Simon Taufel and Darrell Hair, who are standing in this match, and all the other umpires.
The whole England squad watched the Champions League Final together on Wednesday night and we had to wear the colours of one of the teams.
I was late because it took me ages to find a Chelsea wristband!
I think there will be a punishment coming my way at some point.
Yesterday we staged our own penalty shoot-out during practice and now I know how Nicolas Anelka felt in Moscow, because Colly saved my penalty.
But it hasn't affected my confidence - I still think I'm a good footballer. Arsene Wenger should give me a call and get me down to Arsenal straight away! I'm two-footed and I'll play in any position, no problem.
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